Tuesday, February 5, 2013

When Does it stop?

Sis 1 here . . .

I had an epiphany today.  I realized that I harbor a lot of resentment and anger (I already knew this part) toward Dickhead.  The realization is that part of the current, pent up anger and resentment is due to the fact that he is finally doing things with other people that I wanted him to do with me for the last 25 years.  I want to strangle him for that and I'm mad at myself for allowing him that continuing power.  I hate feeling this way and I feel like I harp on it to my friends and even in my own head.  There is no reason for me to be hurt and pissed . . . it's just annoying that he's now doing what he could have been doing all along.  Now, don't get me wrong, it doesn't make me want to take him back and I don't think he's doing it to get me back.  I think he's just finally realized that if he wants to get along in this world, on his own, he has to think about other people too.

So, I've given myself a deadline to just stop it.  Stop harping; stop being pissed; stop being angry; stop being hurt; stop being resentful.  He will be moving out in a couple of weeks.  At that time, I'm going to scrub my apartment from top to bottom, erasing all signs of his tenancy. And with the literal cleansing, I think it will create a figurative cleansing, as well.  I think at that point, I will be totally over it all.  If not, people need to Gibbs-smack me and get me back on track.

I'll keep you posted.

Until the next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .