Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Walking Down Memory Lane ...

Sis 2 here ... a few months ago I was lucky enough to reconnect with someone who played a MAJOR part in my life about 20 years ago ... my first love (possibly my only real, true love); the person I thought I would spend my life with; you know, the "one that got away". 

Twenty years ago we were, as we have dubbed it "young and stupid" and let stupid BS get in the way and ruin the relationship we had. Fast forward all these years and now we talk nearly every day (some days more than once) and take a little walk down memory lane each time - sometimes we talk about regrets, sometimes we talk about funny memories from when we were together, sometimes we talk about what might have been and sometimes we talk about 2nd chances. Life has roadblocks along memory lane - sometimes we can ignore the roadblocks and sometimes we have to try to remove them but no matter what I am loving these walks down memory lane with someone so special to me and feel blessed to have him back in my life. 

Walking and remembering with someone I care deeply about but still keeping it sassy and sarcastic. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Rips in the Moral Fabric

Sis 1 here . . .

I just don't get it. I keep meeting these "great" guys, but they are flawed.  Now, I'm not looking for perfection, but these are big flaws . . . like rips in their moral fabric.  They lie, they cheat, they are only looking for sex, they are possessive (like scary possessive), they present themselves one way and then their true character comes out.  I'm so over this.

And believe me, I'm not trying to jump into any relationships, but I would like to take what they say at face value.  Unfortunately, I can't. If I did, I'd be hurt every time.  I don't put my heart into any of these encounters, thank goodness.  But, it bothers me because I want to see the best in everyone and because I am totally honest and straight forward with them.  They say they are, but the truth always comes out.

I'm not ready to give up . . . I know the right one is out there.  My question is how many frogs to I have to kiss to find my prince?

SMDH and moving on.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Dating and Getting Out There

Sis 1 here . . .

I've been on a dating website for a couple of months and I'm enjoying myself.  I've met a few men and gone out with a few of them.  Some dates are better than others, but they all have a couple of things in common and I really want some answers.

1.  Every man I've met either just talking on line or actually meeting in person says the same shit . . . I'm honest, dependable, don't play games, etc.  Guess what, none are honest or dependable--although there are varying stages of each, and every single damn one of them plays games.  SMDH!

2.  Every one of them says they want a serious relationship, to be monogamous, to love me forever.  Guess what . . . they all lie.  They probably all want that, but beforehand, they all want a booty call, friends with benefits, etc.  Some might be worthwhile, but it's the lying that gets me.  Tell me what you want, and you might get lucky.  LOL!

3. Every one of them says they will pay attention to me.  Now, I'm not a high maintenance kinda gal, but I do like to have attention paid to me on a near constant basis.  So . . . if you want me, then you need to text, call, visit and respond to texts and calls, follow through and actually text and call when you say you will.

Now  . . . I know that I have some high expectations here for initial dating, but seriously, be a man, tell me the truth, and let's move on.  We may work out.  We may not.  But, by lying and playing games, you'll never get anywhere with me.

So, I'll keep looking, keep dating, and keep on keeping on.  I'm gonna have fun, have some laughs, and maybe even get laid once in awhile.  LOL!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

To Keep or Not to Keep ... that is the question

Sis 2 here -- 

So I am finally getting closer to being able to file for divorce - filing fee has been saved, paperwork has been printed and I am nearly at my wits end dealing with the soon to be ex ... and then bam, reading through the paperwork I strike upon a question I hadn't fully thought through ...

        Does the wife want to keep her married name or return to her maiden name????

Shit -- I had it in the back of my mind but hadn't really thought about it. I thought I knew what I wanted to do but the more I think about the idea, the more confused I get. I see pros and cons to keeping it vs returning to maiden name. 

What to do, what to do .... so I am throwing it out to all of you! Give me the pros and cons that you see and weigh in on whether I retain the married name or return to my maiden name. 

While I decide ... keep it Sassy and Sarcastic. 

Monday, October 7, 2013

Bruised But Not Broken

Sis 1 here...

My ego is bruised, but my heart and head are in tact. You played me or maybe you thought you were sincere. Either way, a real man would have the balls to tell me good bye. I know, you probably got a little scared with the bit of drama you were exposed to, but honey...if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

So, play on player. I've moved on and will keep true to me.   BTW...don't worry, I won't try to trash your reputation. I'm sure you'll fuck someone else over that will do that for you. Oh and your continuing studies with God? might want to work on that...I'm just sayin', because my friend, Karma, is a total bitch.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Sunday, October 6, 2013


Sis 1 here...

I guess I jinxed it. I thought things were going well, but haven't heard from The Special One in two days. What? Am I 16 again? Do people really do 180s in just two days? This non communication is not what I've learned about him. I mean seriously, when his mom had a stroke, he still checked in and said hi. So, I give up.

No more worrying about guys and what they think. No more putting myself out there. I've given so many people benefit of the doubt and they only end up hurting me.

Men love to say that they don't play games, but so far, that has been my experience. So, I give up.

I'm hurt. I'm disillusioned. I'm not impressed with the human race. So, I give up.

Until someone else comes along to get my hopes up again. And then, who knows. Maybe I'll roll this post out again. Or maybe, it will be great. Or maybe, it will be the for real last straw.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Friday, October 4, 2013

The Special One

Sis 1 here...

I think I've found that special guy. In fact, we'll refer to him as The Special One. It seems like we are clicking on every level. We don't necessarily agree on everything, but we talk about and discuss it anyway. I don't want to jinx anything, so keeping it vague here, but stay tuned for updates.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Catch up, Clean Up

Sis 1 here . . .

Time to catch up and clean up what's going on.  BTW--our blogiversary is coming up on December 8th.  Yay us!

The guy I met that I posted about most recently has been totally cut off.  I've told him every which way to Sunday that I'm no longer interested.  And yet . . . he continues to call.  I don't answer and hopefully soon, he will stop.  I don't know what else to do without it becoming some big dramatic thing and I'm just not into that.

Also, the whole thing with Top came to an end.  We evolved to a different kind of relationship, that of really good friends.  We still talk a lot and help each other with different issues--we're each others' sounding boards.  It's a good thing and I consider him one of my best friends.  It was time to move on.

In the meantime, I went to an online dating site.  Kind of a scary thing to do . . . you never know who you are going to meet. In a nutshell--most of the guys online lie just like they do in real life. I went out with three of them (1x each) and was not thrilled.  But then, I met bachelor #4.  Wow!  This guy knocks my socks off.  We're still getting to know each other, but everything so far just clicks.  He is damn near too good to be true, which scares the hell out of me.  I'm not going to go into any details here as I don't want to jinx it, but he's definitely a keeper.

That's my life in a nutshell.  Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Games Will Not Be Tolerated

Sis 1 here...

It's been awhile, and for that, I apologize. Sis 2 and I have been going through a lot in our personal lives and blogging has not been top priority. But, here I am today...with a rant.

I started dating and met a very nice guy. Things jumped off fairly quickly and were going well, but now they've started to go downhill. See, we started texting and talking on the Phone a lot. All well and good, then real life kicked in. School started, my busy season at work started, and time is precious. He is a "local" guy, but is still an hour away. So, seeing him is limited to an occasional evening after work and weekends. Last weekend, I was sick, so I haven't seen him in two weeks.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad, and we are supposed to go out today, but I'm starting to get attitude from him. He calls and gets off the Phone quickly, because he thinks I'm too busy to talk. He says I don't text and call him enough, but when I do, he doesn't answer. Then when he does call or text, he blames me. He thinks I have an attitude.

I just got off the Phone with him. He said he hadn't listened to my voicemail from yesterday because he had just really wanted to sleep. And then has the nerve to say he doesn't want to text and talk that much because "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Yep...he said it, bi-polar mother fucker. I told him that's bullshit and I might see him later...or not. He's reminding me of my ex more and more. That shit will not fly.

What the fuck, dude? You say you don't play games, but that's all you're doing. So...I will see him today, just to tell him to fuck off.

Treat me like a Queen and I'll treat you like a King. Treat me like a game and I'll show you how it's played. Game on!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Really, Mom...It's Oregano...NOT

Sis 1 here...

Another funny story. The last week of school my freshman year of high school resulted on me getting expelled from school.  Now, it wasn't funny at the time, but looking back, it's hilarious.

You see, my high school was an open concept walls, just dividers between classrooms.  So, one afternoon, two of my (former) friends and I decided that smoking weed in the bathroom, right outside of an ongoing math class would be a brilliant idea. So, we all got out of our classes and met win the restroom...we all squeezed into one stall to light up.  We also thought it would be ok to blow the smoke into the ventilation system. 

So, here we are smoking away when all of a sudden awe hear a man's voice telling is to come out. Apparently, we weren't as smart as we thought...duh. We frantically got rid of all the evidence, sprayed the place with perfume and each went into different we were really going to pee. Actually, I did.

When we didn't come put, they Sent in a female teacher to bring us out.  Busted! Now...they had no definitive proof of who was smoking, so I made sure the other girls knew that they couldn't do anything if we all stuck to our story and denied everything.

The next day we had to bring our parents in.  I stuck to the story, but those batches  rolled over instantly. I never did admit it to the authorities, but still got kicked out for a week....they did let me take my finals...kind of hard to not let an honor student take finals. LO:

At home, of course, Mom gave me the third degree.  I told her it wasn't was this day she believes it.  I think that's the funniest part. I got grounded for three months...the whole summer. I had a great tan though, because I was in the pool all day, every day.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Honest Occifer

. . .I only had one beer.

Sis 1 here . . .

It's been awhile since either of us posted.  I think life kicked us both in the boobs at the same time and we've been struggling to function.  I for one, want to take this blog in a different direction.  Sill sassy and sarcastic, but not mean and bitchy.  Karma will get ya for that.  Not to say that occasionally I won't rag on the antics of the soon-to-be ex, but I want to tell you some funny stories instead.

So, I'll start with the title of this post.

Once upon a time, Sis 2 and I were out partying all night (as usual).  We were chugging vodka straight from the bottle (probably why I don't drink vodka much these days) and we were driving all over town.  Yes . . . back in the day, I did a lot of drinking and driving--it's a wonder we are alive to tell about it now.  Anyway, I had a little boyfriend with me at the time and all night long, he kept popping breath mints in my mouth.  Isn't that sweet?  LOL!  Just before we went into the arcade, late night, he popped one in my mouth and said, "don't chew, swallow."  Side note--that phrase means something totally different to me these days. . .  bwahahahaha.  Anyway, I did what he said, and we were all having a great time, when I decided that it was time to go for a drive.  We ended up on a backward ass country road, pitch dark, winding all over the place (to this day I can't find that spot), when I missed a hairpin turn.

It could have been really bad, but I just ended up driving through a field/yard and got stuck on top of a log.  Yes--I drove a tank in those days, just like now.  :)  So, the only smart thing that sweet boy did all night was chuck the vodka bottle as far as he could, because just as I got the car unstuck, the sheriff pulled up.  Yikes!

He asked me how much I had been drinking. . . not have I been drinking, but how much.  Tells you something about growing up in Indiana in the 80s.  At first I said I hadn't been drinking and he gave me that look, you know the one.  The one that says, "do I have stupid stamped on my forehead?"  So then I said the most famous line ever, "Honest Occifer, I only had one beer."

So, the lovely man with the gun asked Sis 2 if she could drive . . . of course, she said no.  Then he asked sweet boy if he could drive . . . he wasn't even 16, so no.  So he tells me to follow him.  FOLLOW HIM?!  Are you fucking kidding me?  I couldn't even see him by that time.  But, being the resourceful girl that I am, I said, yes sir.  He got us back to the main road and stopped . . . I did not come anywhere near rear ending him, but I was afraid I would.

 He then came back to my car and said he was going to take us home.  I told him to take me to jail, because if he took me home, my daddy would kill me.  I wasn't exaggerating either.  So he went back to his car and got on the radio.  We just knew we were all dead meat.  He came back and said, "I want you to go straight home and I don't want to see you out again tonight."  OMG!  Saved!  Then he turned around and said, "someday, tell your daddy I said hi."  He was a friend of my dad's and knew exactly what would happen if he took me home.

Needless to say, we were all very happy and had every intention of going straight home . . . NOT.  I won't bore you with the details, but after three more police "run ins" that night, finally we went home.  BTW . . . wondering why sweet boy told me to swallow instead of chew?  In his infinite wisdom, he thought that giving me a hit of speed would cancel out all the vodka.  WOW!  No wonder I couldn't see straight.  Kids--speed in the 80s was not like speed now.  It was pills and you could get really skinny taking it.

Anyway . . . that's the most famous of the stories . . . I'll try to think of some more to entertain you.  In the meantime, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Stalker much?!

Sis 1 here...

Creepy neighbor thinks he is in love with me.  He just found out that Jackass is gone, so he started talking to me the other night.  He's a nice man, but just not what I want.  But, since he is a neighbor, I try to be nice.  He wanted to hang out with me all night--said we could start out as friends.  REALLY?!  Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!  My son had to make up an excuse to get me away for awhile.  Then, when I went back outside, I was on the phone with Top.  We were on the phone for an hour and creepy stalker guy came back three times  . . . he wanted me to give him my number.  Um . . . NO!

Then, yesterday, I went for an early morning walk and took my dog with me.  As we walked out the gate, the dog started barking and I was shushing her because it was so early and I didn't want to disturb anyone.  All of a sudden, creepy stalker guy rushes up to me to say hi.  To be fair, he was not stalking; he was waiting for his ride for work. However, it was still dark, he's blacker than black, and he was standing in the shadows, and he bumrushed me.  REALLY!?  I just had to keep moving.  I know he was talking to me as I walked away, but I had headphones in so I could ignore him.  And you know he was looking at my ass when I walked away too.  I feel so dirty.  LOL!

Anyway, moral of the story . . . don't be so damn nice.  LOL!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Oops...back to our regularly scheduled programming

Sis 1 here...

Apparently Sis 2 and I have forgotten our priorities...yup, we've been away from our blog for over a week. Yikes!

So, here's a condensed version of my life the last week...

I got my new car and I love love love it.  Funny thing...Jackass found out about it and he's pissed. That makes me love it more. He apparently isn't happy because his car needs brakes.  Oh yeah...get a job mother fucker!

I won a contest at work and the prize was a new Surface RT tablet. Love love love it too...I can finally watch my Netflix and HBO Go on a screen bigger than my hand. LOL

I also was "awarded" a mini fridge from work. Sounds silly, but it's perfect for my alcohol and sits by the patio door...where I do the majority of my imbibing.

Finally, the timing has worked out that I get to see Top again in just over a week. Woo hoo!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Happy happy happy . . . Love love love

Sis 1 here . . .

Missed my appointed blog time yesterday.  I was tied up getting my NEW CAR!  So happy.  I've been needing a new car because my old one may not make it through the summer without a lot of work.  So, the old car is sitting until I get the money for repairs and will go to the Boy fairly soon as his car.  With all the repairs, it'll be like new for him when he gets his license.  The new one is a Chevy Equinox and I couldn't be happier.   See the Picture.

Until next time . . . keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Baby Steps

Sis 2 here ... 

Taking baby steps to remove those people that are not putting in the effort or bringing appropriate value to my life ... finally feeling like I am getting my head in the right place for ME!! 

Feeling FREE and #sassyandsarcastic 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Stop Over Thinking It

Sis 1 here...

A follow up blog. I have to remember that I actually have a good guy.  He doesn't play games and if there is a problem, he'll be honest.  So hard after all the years of bullshit.


Over? Or Just Thinking?

Sis 1 here . . .

With all the break throughs, I have this impending feeling of doom. Top says he has a lot on his mind--and I haven't talked to him since our great conversation on Tuesday night.  Maybe it is nothing and I'm borrowing trouble, but maybe this is it.  I'm prepared for the worst, but don't really know how I'll handle it.  I hope with dignity and grace, but I have a feeling I'll be crying and miserable.  Fingers crossed--all good thoughts and prayers are welcome.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic. . . .

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Bonus blog

Sis 1 here...

Even though I'm making break thoughs, I'm still having problems getting out of my head.

I know to take it one day at a time, but when I don't hear from him all day, that day sucks!


Weeds or Flowers?

Sis 2 here ... 

Today as I was pulling weeds and working in the yard, my mind was still in overdrive with all of the things going on in my life especially as it relates to the people in my life. 

As I pulled what felt like the thousandth weed of the morning it dawned on me that in our life sometimes people and situations are just like weeds and flowers ... 

Weeds are sometimes pretty to look at but serve no real purpose in the garden ... think dandelions or clover. Weeds are sometimes ugly and a real nuisance in the garden and are difficult to get rid of ... think poison ivy or prickly thistles. 

Flowers are typically things that we plant in our garden by choice but sometimes are a lucky accident ... either way they bring pleasure and beauty to our garden. 

I am tired of the weeds in my life ... it is time to pull them up and make room for flowers! Time to figure out which people are "weeds" and which people are "flowers" and make my "garden" of life what I want. So to all of you in my life, time to show me - are you a weed or a flower? 

As I plant a new "garden" of people in my life, I will be keeping it #sassyandsarcastic 

Tuesday, May 7, 2013


Sis 1 here . . .

This post has been percolating in my head all day.  I've been trying to write it and just couldn't get it right.  So, I was watching a stupid tv show and it all became clear.  We have to give ourselves fully to the ones we love.  We may get hurt, but then again, it may be beautiful. 

On the stupid show, all the people are lying and using each other, but there is one couple that was together before, they are still friends, and when it comes down to it, they truly love each other.  The woman went to the man and just flat out told him that she loves him.  He gets pissed, talking about how he's been trying to move past her all this time, but then turns around and grabs her and he loves her too.

That triggered what has been blocking me.  I truly love Top.  I know that he loves me.  There are lots of obstacles and we may not end up together.  But, I had to tell him.  He may not "choose" me in the end and my heart may get broken, but . . . the old cliche is true . . . "it is better to loved and lost than to never have loved at all."  I pushed him away once, and that was my bad.  I was hurt and broken hearted, but this time around, he will have to be the one to push me away.

I told him tonight, "I'm in a good head space . . . I love you."  He was confused and I told him that I was just feeling good and wanted him to know.  He was still confused, so I told him about the stupid tv show and how I had a moment of clarity.  I relaized that no matter what the past, the future is uncertain and this moment I love him very much.  I'm not trying to pressure him, I know where we stand and will continue to take it one day at a time.  I told him that I need to tell him exactly how I feel  . . . whether he wanted to hear it or not.  He understands but wants to know what made me tell him that out of the blue.

It just became clear.  I keep saying trust is key and honesty is so important.  I really want to keep living that truth.  I have been praying on this for a few days and the truth came in the form of a stupid tv show.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic. . . .

Monday, May 6, 2013

Stupid Brain

Sis 2 here - 

As I have posted before my life is a HOT FUCKING MESS right now -- trying to get a divorce but can't afford for him to move out yet, can't find a damn job so working bits and pieces of temp jobs trying to survive, have a young boy toy that makes me insane ... but none of that is truly the point of this post. 

What this post is about is my brain ... more importantly how I tend to over think EVERY DAMN THING and it makes me crazy!

For example:

Divorce -- he never made an effort to make plans or do anything proactive to get things done in our marriage why would I expect him to do things now like:
     1) start researching places to live 
     2) participate in the conversation about future plans

Job -- send out resume after resume and all I hear is: 
     1) you are over qualified
     2) position has been filled
     3) or the worst NOTHING - what happened to a simple reply that you received my resume?

Boy Toy -- this one is simply said with: 
     1) too young
     2) too immature 
     3) too far away 
     4) but gets into my head (and heart) even when I try to stay strong and focused on what "this"     
          really is 

Okay, so maybe those things are a part of the point, but ultimately my biggest problem right now is ME ... mostly my brain and how I over think everything, worry about what might be instead of what is and ultimately make myself crazy. 

I need my stupid girly X-chromosome ruled brain to SHUT THE FUCK UP and stop thinking so much. 

Going crazy but still #sassyandsarcastic 

Saturday, May 4, 2013


Sis 1 here . . .

Revenge is a dish best served cold . . . and it is so very fucking sweet.

I have been without internet for about two months.  Jackass had borrowed his son's computer and it didn't make sense that I was paying for internet on no computer.  He returned the computer about a month ago, but I hadn't gotten around to getting internet back.  So, yesterday, I added the internet back in, hooked up the modem, installed the software, set up the wi-fi network, and my first place to check to make sure it was right, was  . . . Facebook, of course.  Imagine my surprise when I clicked on Facebook, ready to log in, and Jackass was already logged in.  Imagine the joy when I discovered that.  Imagine the vindication when I discovered he had been lying and cheating for a long mother fucking time!  Woot woot!

Ok--a little back story.  I had been very unhappy for years, he didn't work for years (he's a musician), so I couldn't leave him. I felt like I would be abandoning a child to the cold harsh world.  I didn't want my son to see his dad not making it and possibly living on the streets--because that's what it would have come down to back then.  However, by January 1, 2012, I was done.  I woke up that morning and just couldn't do it anymore.  I had a vacation scheduled in February, so I didn't want to rock the boat--child care you know.  But, he started to push the issue and the night before I left, kept me up all night "talking" -- the man never shuts the fuck up.  So, I went on vacation with Sis 2, and hooked up with a very fine, young (emphasis on young) man that I met there the year before.  He was there on leave and fate had us there at the same time.  I couldn't NOT hook up . . . I mean really . . . I consider it my patriotic duty.  LOL!  Anyway--long story short, Jackass saw us on the live webcam and called me on it.  We had a big blow up, started counseling, and the rest is history.

So--he harped on this one incident during the entire time we were in counseling.  Not saying he didn't have a right to, but he didn't want to see all the very many incidents he did along the way.  He kept saying he never cheated.  Come on dude, I may have blond roots, but I'm not fucking stupid.  I was one of your groupies at one point--I know exactly what those bitches do and how you eat it up. 

Sidebar:  I had started talking to Top during this time as well.  His wife found out and contacted Jackass.  Shit really hit the fan then.  At some point, the counselor told him to delete those messages because it is unhealthy and if he was really interested in salvaging anything with me, he had to delete them.  He said he did--told me, told the counselor. BTW--Top is separated from his wife.

Back to Facebook--he's logged in.  Do you really think I'm not going to look at the messages?  Hell yeah I did.  (1) he didn't delete the messages between him and Top's wife; (2) the high school sweetheart he brought to family dinner when we were home last summer?--he couldn't afford our date that he was looking forward to, right?  Yeah--spent the date money on her!; (3) inappropriate messages with lots of women; (4) telling people about my infidelity, but no mention of his part in it--played the martyr and with people that FUCKING KNOW ME; (4) he's been begging for money from his mom and other relatives; (5)and this is the big one -- started fucking the chick in his band--the one he now lives with and says they are like brother and sister!  Ewwwww--sick!  But--the big part about that is . . . it started at the end of July/early August--BEFORE we separated and were still in counseling.  He was spending money on her, but couldn't help pay bills in the house.  PLUS--when his band went to Vegas in the summer, they had a room together.  Oh yeah--that's what I thought the first time I read the thread.  I realized when I read it again--just the two of them went to Vegas.

So, I can't say anything before the divorce is final and I may not after that.  After all, I am a lady and take the high road.  But . . . every single time he asks me for money and every single time we change something over from my name to his . . . the answer is FUCK NO!  You can't make ends meet?  Try getting a mother fucking job!

This has become a really long rant, but I feel so vindicated.  I thought all guilt had gone away already, but when I read this stuff, I realized that there was just a tad bit left.  Not anymore.  Karma is a bitch and she's one of my dearest friends.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Mom Puts Her Foot Down

Sis 1 here . . .

The Boy (who is 14) pretty much has leeway to do whatever the hell he wants.  He makes straight As in the Honors Program, does his chores (without whining or nagging for the most part), and behaves (for the most part).  He's not just book smart, but he is also street smart, and common sense smart.  So, I don't get on him much.  However, Momma had to put her foot down last night.  That little mother fucker thought he was going to say some smart ass shit to me and get away with it.

Keep in mind, this kid now pretty much towers over me.  Yet, I can still get in his face and he will shake in his shoes.  That is the key, ladies and gentlemen, the kid needs to have a healthy dose of fear of the parental units.  He knows I mean it when I say, "I brought you into this world; I can take your ass out."

So, I put my foot down and decided he is going back to Indiana with me on vacation in July.  I had hoped to be able to plan with Top to coordinate our vacations, so if the Boy didn't go, so much the better for my love life.  Since Top's plans are up in the air, I had to firm up my plans (we may still be able to coordinate a bit).  My reluctance to coordinate our trips was because I really didn't know what to do with the Boy.  Twelve days is a bit much to foist your kid off on someone else, and it's entirely too long for him to spend with his sperm donor--they'd kill each other.  So, we're renting a car, taking the dog, and hitting the road.  Woo hoo!

Sidebar:  Jackass aka sperm donor had the nerve to text me to ask to borrow money last night.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Sorry, dude . . . no money for you.  Bwahahahahah!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My turn

Sis 1 here...

My turn to blog. So many things to say but don't want to bore you.  So, I'll just say... I've been in a bad head space the last few days, avoiding social media. I had a lot of concerns about the future.  But you know what?  The one person who was able to guide me was Top. He gave me great advice and snapped me out of my funk.  Love him.

His advice?  Take it one day at a time. Just because things are changing, doesn't mean it happens overnight.

This was timely because I had it in my head that once jackass was gone, my life would suddenly be better. It is, but it is taking time. I'm not suddenly rich and can't suddenly do all the things I want to do. I have to plan and budget. So, it's a process and I have a lot of great friends and a fabulous man, as well as a wonderful son. Between them all, my life is pretty good.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Alone vs Lonely

Sis 1 here...

I spend a lot of time alone, but that doesn't equal lonely.  I enjoy my time alone. I will say there are times when I am lonely though.

I have no family near by and the majority of my friends are at least an hour away. I keep myself busy so I can't dwell on it, because if I don't, I put my head in a bad place.  But there are times when I wish people were closer to my place so we can do things. I would love to go out on a Saturday night or have brunch on Sunday. I guess I need to expand my horizons to do this.

In just four years, the Boy will be out of high school and I'm seriously considering moving out of sunny SoCal to be closer to family and friends. However, I have no desire to live in Indiana again.

For now, I'll deal with it and hope to do more with folks here.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Thursday, April 25, 2013


Sis 1 here . . .

I just returned from my birthday trip visiting Top.  It was wonderful!  When my plane landed, I had a text that he was running late and was so sorry.  It didn't matter because the plane was late too.  So as I came up the escalator, he was walking up, searching faces, looking for me.  He was the first person I saw--I zeroed in on him and crooked my finger at him.  We walked on the opposite sides of the barrier, me beckoning him to me and him with a wide-eyed look on his face.

The first kiss in over 26 years made my toes curl.  As we walked to get my bags, we couldn't let go of each other and he couldn't take his eyes off of me.  we walked arm in arm--I fit perfectly under his arm and he kept me close.  It was as if we were never apart all these years.

On the drive to his home, we didn't talk too much--I think we were both so nervous.  But you know what?  It was a comfortable silence.  we got to his place and his brother (BB) was there with dinner waiting.  He too had the big wide-eyed look.  It was like coming home.

We ate, drank, smoked, and talked a lot--all three of us.  Then we went in his room . . . you don't get those details, but suffice to say, it was pure bliss, more than satisfying.

Unfortunately, he had to work for three days straight, but we had the mornings and nights to ourselves. He made me breakfast in the morning, sometimes one of us cooked dinner, and other times he bought dinner for us.

He loaned me his car to meet up with two friends of mine, one of whom I hadn't seen in 35 years.  I took him to work and picked him up on the Army base.  Mmmmm . . . that is such a turn on to realize he served his country for 25 years.

The evenings were beautiful as we watched the playoffs and drank and talked. He put music on and danced with me.  He held me in his arms all night every night.  So nice to have a man hold me and not complain about sleeping space.  In fact, if I got up in the middle of the night, he'd hold me tighter.

On the last two days he didn't have to work.  We spent the days just chillin' and talking.  He fell asleep on the sofa with his legs up in my lap--I drank wine all day and watched NCIS.  LOL!

I was sad to leave and truly think I could live there.  Hopefully, things will work out so that we can be together in the future.  If not, I'll always have these memories of a perfect vacation.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Paradise.. It Is a Coming

Sis 1 here...

No dog, no cats, no kid for the next 6 days.  Woo hoo! Don't get me wrong, I love them, especially the kid, but damn it's never ending. I'm about to leave for my birthday trip and be pampered and treated like a queen. Can't wait to see my friends and especially Top. It's been too long.
Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


Sis 1 here . . .

Yesterday was a day for shock, anger, pain, rage at the Boston Marathon bombings.  Today is a day for reflection.

You see, while I still carry all the emotions from yesterday, today I see the first responders, the military that ran in full gear and then went back to help the others.  I see the humanity of these and others that post.  This gives me hope.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Monday, April 15, 2013

WTF is wrong with people??

Seriously? Bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon? WTF is wrong with people these days? I have no words to completely describe my anger and disgust over these types of events. I am sickened to see one after another - people injured and killed in the name of politics, religion or whatever! 

Further that with the fact I am a runner (granted I am not an elite runner and will never qualify nor attempt something like the Boston Marathon) but to know that some of the injured are people that live for running (you have to be that dedicated to be that elite) and may never run again or at the very least were unable to finish a race they dreamed of and trained so hard to do.

Whoever did this and for whatever reason -- get the fuck over yourself and your "cause" -- may you rot in the deepest depths of HELL because that is where you belong. 

Sad and disgusted but trying hard to keep it #sassyandsarcastic  

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Queen Treatment

Sis 1 here...

Two hour hair appointment and three hour nail appointment....treated like a queen in anticipation of my bday.

So excited...getting to see good friends soon and spending a long weekend with Top. I'm about ready to pee my pants! Only give more days!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Friday, April 12, 2013

New Style Pick Up Line??

Sis 2 here -

So yesterday I get a private message from a "friend of a friend" on Facebook and it reads: 

          youre hot - I would eat that vajayjay

Now I know I sit a little north of the 40 year old mark but is this some kind of new pick up line or mating ritual that I am not aware of? Um, how about no thanks - go eat some other "vajayjay". 

I know you are all super jealous that this super romantic, highly educator guy is not after you so until then ... keep it #sassyandsarcastic 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Never Ask A Question ...

Sis 2 here - 

Tonight I was reminded of a very valuable idea: never ask a question unless you are prepared to hear an answer you won't like

Had a Facebook conversation with someone that SUPPOSEDLY cares about me and has even used the "L" word to describe their feelings. The following is the basic break down of the conversation:  (this person shall be called "The Other" for the purposes of this blog post)
Italics are my internal thoughts during the conversation. 

The Other:    I feel special
Me:               Because you are ... at least to me
The Other:   Thank you
          (really only a mother fucking thank you - how about you are special to me as well?) 
Me:               But you already knew that
The Other:    Yes Ma'am
Me:                Mmmmm - wonder where I stand though?
          (crickets chirping now - mofo, it shows you saw the message but didn't answer) 
Me:                Hmmm - maybe no answer is really my answer to where I stand
          (The Other has logged off) 

So of course, I forgot all about my break thru from yesterday and began to eat junk to push down my feelings. But tomorrow is another day and I WILL remember this conversation and the lack of response from The Other and I WILL get back on track and remember that this is about ME and no one else! 

Guess I have my answer for now AND was reminded of a very valuable idea ... 

Until then, keep it #sassyandsarcastic 


Sis 1 here . . .

It is interesting that Sis and I are on the same page with our thinking.  I had just had my own revelations the other day and she had hers yesterday.  So, tagging on to what she said . . .

I had an epiphany.  It's hard to put in to words, but here goes.

The other day, I was talking on the phone to Top (a very close, personal friend) and he asked me what I was wearing.  When I told him lounging pajamas, he said,

1.  "you must be cold natured, because you are always wearing long pants and staying covered up."

My response to that was that I was on the patio and people could see me.  He then said,

2.  "the Sis 1 (insert my name here), I knew wouldn't have cared about that and you must have lost your self-confidence."

Now, I do have self-confidence, but that has been rattling around in my brain for a few days.  It finally became clear . . . I lost my confidence for so many years and now I understand.

For years, Dickhead either would tell me something didn't look good on me or he just ignored me.  I don't think he meant to, but did it nonetheless.

I pinpointed when we stopped going out and doing things.  It was about 20 years ago.  (Yes, I know--long fucking time to tolerate shit!)  I had put on a little black dress, spiked heels, and wrapped this funky snake bracelet around my ankle.  He took one look and told me I looked like a hooker and to put on something less trashy.  Needless to say, we didn't go out that night.

Sidebar:  Top put this in perspective.  Dickhead didn't want other men looking at me.  Instead of soaking it in and being proud of me and how I looked, he was insecure and had to bring me to his level.  It worked for a very long time. {end sidebar}

For the majority of our life together, Dickhead pretty much ignored me and we didn't go anywhere or do anything.  I subconsciously started eating more, exercising less, and kept to myself.  I gained a lot of weight which made me more self conscious.  I started changing my clothing style--dressing more and more like a little old lady.  In other words, if I was invisible to him, I would be invisible to the world.

There were a couple periods--away from him--that I started changing back to the true me.  Both times, I ate better, exercised, and lost a lot of weight.  But once I was back with him, lost the confidence and gained back all the weight and more.

Now, I'm done with that shit.  I eating better, exercising more (although I really fucking hate exercising) and dressing better.  I'm happier than I've been in a very long time and that 17 year confident girl is shining through.  People are noticing--I smile A LOT, I laugh, I'm playful, and little things are not setting me off.  People are coming to me out of the blue and commenting on how happy I seem.  So, while I've been getting happier and this epiphany brought it all home, I have some self improvement still to go, starting with self love (minds out of the gutter).

I've done my time and now the Real Bitch is back!  Some would say, I've always maintained the Bitch, but really, it was a facade, a defense mechanism.  When I say the Bitch is back, I mean Babe In Total Control of Herself.

I am a good person who let an albatross hang around my neck too long.  I am intelligent, witty, and even pretty.  Even if I didn't think so myself, it's confirmed these days by other sources.  Not that confirmation is required, but when you've been hiding for 20 years, it's nice.

Another part of my epiphany was a book I was reading.  Not a self-help book, but a good, old-fashioned mystery/thriller.  The heroine was an older lady that realized she's become virtually invisible to society.  I identified with her and I swear I will not be invisible.  So look out world--I'm back and I take no prisoners.

In the words of Alanis Morissette:

I'm a bitch, I'm a love, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed . . .
I've been numb, I'm revised can't say I'm not alive . . .

This one was long, but needed to get out.  Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Time to think about ME

So I posted earlier about the big step of having the conversation with the hubs about separating and divorce ... wow, it is amazing the weight just having that conversation and starting the process has taken off my shoulders. I was having bouts of severe insomnia again the last few months and now I can sleep. I still find myself struggling with emotional eating but that too will go away (okay maybe not disappear completely but I will get a better handle on it again) when this stressful week settles down.

The best part was when I realized that I was truly doing this for ME -- not because I hated him or because I wanted someone else but because it was time for ME to be happy even if that means alone!

Time to think about ME ... and I love it!

Keep it #sassyandsarcastic ... and remember, take some time to think about YOU! You will be amazed at how it makes you feel!

#sassyandsarcastic #sistercasm

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Seriously, Dude?!

Sis 1 here....

So I get this phone call from a medical supplies company in response to my inquiry... From OVER A YEAR AGO!  Dumb mother fucker says he can get me my supplies cheaper than I currently do.  Interesting because I have fabulous insurance and pay a small co-pay for meds and my test strips are free AND if I need a new meter, also FREE. But, I let him do his spiel and at the end of it, it will only cost me $50 to switch to their company and only $20 a month for test strips.  Now, I know I'm not great at math, but that shit sounds like it costs more than free. I'm just sayin'.

So, no, Jackass, I don't want to switch and thank you for taking 5 minutes of my time that I'll never get back. #smh

In other news, I had the locks changed today and feel really good about it.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Monday, April 8, 2013


Sis 2 here -- it has been a long time in the coming but finally revisited a talk with the husband. Gave him a letter on Friday saying we need to separate and then had the big conversation Saturday evening. Weight off my shoulders -- he agreed without a fight. We have lived as roommates that share children for years and while he had grown complacent with that arrangement, I grew more and more frustrated. We told the kids on Sunday and both seem to be fine. In typical teenage girl fashion, the daughter wanted to know if that meant she got double of everything. Next big huddle is telling the crazy old people aka my parents. 

For now (due to financial constraints) we will remain in the same household, I have moved into another bedroom and we will begin the process of separation. 

Will keep everyone posted as the process continues but for now ...  keeping it #sassyandsarcastic 

Friday, April 5, 2013

TGIF Bitches!

Sis 1 here . . .

I know, I know, I've said it before, we're behind on blogging.  So, here's the last month or so in a nutshell . . .

Sis 2 and I went to NOLA and had a freaking blast!!!!  It's really fun when you walk down famous Bourbon Street, stop in different bars and the ALL have your drink ready and call you by name.  I felt like Norm in Cheers.  Or how fun is this?  Walked into our favorite karaoke bar and they remembered me/us from prior years' visits.  I mean, come on . . . these people see thousands of tourists every year and they remember us.  FUCKING AWESOME!

As I previously posted, Dickhead moved out and now I've officially filed for divorce.  A huge weight is off my shoulders (not to mention out of my house).  I feel like I've been stagnating for the last 25 years and now, I'm like a youngster again . . . but smarter.  Woo hoo!

My next trip is for my birthday.  I'm heading to Colorado to see old friends . . . one of whom I've been friends with since 2nd grade and haven't seen since 6th grade.  Another used to work with me and we see each other about once a year or every other year for a minute.  And another whom I haven't seen since 1986.  I can't freaking wait to celebrate my birthday with them.

Finally, the Boy is starting high school in the Fall and I took him to the freshman fair at his new high school.  Freshman Fair is for incoming freshmen to get a tour of the campus and sign up for clubs.  I told the Boy he had to sign up for at least three that night.  What was the first thing he signed up for?  DRAMA CLUB!  He'll be running that place before you know it.

All out of time now.  Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic  . . . .

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Deed is Done

Sis 1 here...

The promised post... I filed for divorce today.  Yay me!

Keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Life is Good

Sis 1 here...

Once again we are behind on our blog, but just want to say... Life is good.   Details tomorrow after certain deeds are done.

Until then... Keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Girls just wanna have FUN

Sis 2 here - Sis 1 and I are having LOTS of fun in NOLA. And of course keeping it #sassyandsarcastic #sistercasm

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Oh shit

Sis 2 here - forgot that I had linked FB to messenger on computer and darling teen saw a message she shouldn't have seen

Friday, March 8, 2013

Want Some Cheese with that Whine?

Sis 1 here . . .

Ever have one of those days where you just want to reach through the computer and bitch slap a whiny little shit?  This morning is just that.  I have a friend that is just bitching and moaning about his life and how fucked up it is, how his job sucks and he hates it, but every suggestion offered is met with more whining and complaining.  He says he doesn't have time to look for a new job for various reasons, yet . . . there he is on Facebook just bitching and whining.  Did I mention how much he is bitching and whining?  If you have time for Facebook, you have time to job hunt . . . I'm just saying.  In the meantime, here's some cheese to go with that whine.

In other news, Sis 2 and I leave on Monday for New Orleans for a whole week.  Hopefully, we can provide you with some drunken, hilarious blogging.  Woo hoo!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Monday, March 4, 2013

Las Vegas

Sis 1 here...

Went to Vegas for the weekend. Celebrated my Sistah's 50th (not Sis 2). Had a blast! Looking forward to NOLA next week with Sis 2!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


Sis 1 here . . .

We won another award.  The Lovely Ellen at Bad Word Mama! is our biggest fan, and we love her for it.

We're  supposed to answer questions that Ellen made up for us,  then   nominate 11 other bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers and make up questions for them to answer.

Here are the questions Ellen chose for us:

1. How do you feel about PDA (Public Display of Affection)?
Love it and hate it.  Love to see the handholding and the man's touch on the woman's lower back to protect her, and even the occasional kissing.  Hate major groping, tongues down throat, and basically dry humping.  Having said that . . . give me the right guy and I'll do all that and more.

2. Have you ever dumped someone on a holiday?
Um . . . no. . . not until the day after.  Duh!  Presents y'all.  (Yes--I'm an evil bitch!)

3. Have you ever locked yourself in another room to eat a snack you didn't want share with your kids?
Every day.  I hide them in my room too.

4. Do you know what a Shart is? Have you ever done it?
Yes. Yes.  And ewwwww!

5. Do you embarrass easily?
No, but being Irish/German, I do turn pink at the most inappropriate times.

6. Do you laugh when someone falls down?
Of course, that shit is funny.  And then I help them.  I'm not totally evil.

7. If you could change something about yourself what would it be?
Already did.  Got rid of the Dickhead in my life.

8. Do you pee in the shower?
Madonna said it keeps you from getting athlete's foot.  I've never had athlete's foot.

9. Have you ever read someone's text messages on their phone without them knowing?
Duh . . . re-read my answer to #7.  Bwahahahah!

10. What is your guilty pleasure?
Getting a large mashed potatoes and gravy and large red beans and rice at Popeye's and eating all of it while vegging out all day.  (And still wanting more when I'm done.)

11. Do you hate answering these stupid ass questions?
No--it's fun.

Okay, here's our questions, now you just have to pick your favorite bloggers and make up your own questions. Please leave a comment here letting me know that you've accepted this award.

1.  If you were stranded on a deserted island, what is the one thing you would be lost without?

2.  If you won the lottery, would you stop working (assuming you currently are working)?

3.  What is your favorite vacation destination?

4.  Back to the deserted island . . . if you could choose one person to be stranded with, who would it be?

5.  Why did you choose the person in #4 above?

6.  Heels or flats?

7.  What is the one cosmetic you cannot do without?

8.  Do you have any regrets in your life?

9.  If you could change one thing in your life, without changing the time continuum, what would it be?

10.  Who is your favorite Friends character?

11.  Vampires or werewolves?

Here are my choices for this award.  I know, I know, blogs with fewer than 200 followers, but seriously?  I have no clue.  These are ones that I absolutely adore.

The Dose of Reality

Real Mom of NJ

Funny Is Family

Mama Laughlin

Bad Parenting Moments

Random Handprints - A NYC Mom Blog... live from New Jersey

Hollow Tree Ventures

Seasonal & Savory

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Bitches in the BurbsBitches in the Burbs

Frugalista Blog

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Monday, February 25, 2013

Awards and Something About Us

Sis 1 here . . .

I had no computer access this weekend!  IKR?!  Gasp!  Of course you know, the reason I had no access was because Dickhead came and "borrowed" the Boy's computer.  I didn't really care since I have wi-fi and a laptop or two.  Guess what?!  My wi-fi doesn't work without a physical connection to the other computer.  #failedwifiweekend

Anyway--a new follower . . . nominated us for an award.  How fucking awesome is that?    She gave us the "Inspiring Blog Award" . . . IKR?!  Way to make our day.  So, the rules are to state 7 facts about us and pass this award along to 15 other bloggers.  So, here we go . . .

1.  It's Sistercasm like sarcasm, not Sistergasm like orgasm.  Ewww gross! 

2.  The sisters are not "really" sisters, but it wouldn't be fair to one set of parents to have both of us.

3.  We probably drink entirely too much alcohol, but fuck it . . . YOLO!

4.  We love to embarass the shit out of our teenage children.  After all, they deserve it.

5.  We wouldn't trade those same children for anything in the world.  Luv you guys!

6.  We live on opposite sides of the country, but we talk to each other every day.

7.  We love to travel and our favorite spot in the whole wide world is New Orleans.  We've decided to go every year and are now on trip number 3.  Think we've seen and done everything there is to do?  Think again.  There is always something new in NOLA!

Ok, here are the 15 bloggers who we feel deserve this award:

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Bitches in the BurbsBitches in the Burbs

Frugalista Blog


The Polymath Chronicles

The QC Report

Mama Laughlin

Bad Parenting Moments

Random Handprints - A NYC Mom Blog... live from New Jersey

Hollow Tree Ventures

Seasonal & Savory

The Dose of Reality

Real Mom of NJ

Funny Is Family

We've tried to represent some different types of blogs, but funny is key and sarcastic will send you over the top.  If you choose to accept this award, all you have to do is leave a comment here letting us know that you received it.  On your blog, tell us all 7 facts about yourself and then, pass this award on to 15 bloggers of your choosing.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Moving On

Sis 1 here . . .

I know it's been awhile since I've blogged anything, but here I am now.

Last weekend was bittersweet.  Dickhead finally moved out. As I said previously on this subject, the plan was to clean up the apartment and make it my own.  I did that, and as I thought, the literal cleaning helped with the figurative cleaning.  I think I've really got a handle on this  whole divorce thing.  There were some roller coaster emotions going on, and I suspect there may be more down the line, but overall, I feel happy.

Now, those that know me are thinking, "she's always friggin' happy!"  That's true . . . I tend to be a happy person and don't let things get to me, but this is a different sort of happiness. I feel like a big rock has been standing on my chest and shoulders for a long time, and now, it's gone.  I can breathe again.  There's no dread of going home in the evenings and wondering what kind of reception I'll receive.  There's no worries of waking up to a pissed-off-because-someone-said-something-that-you-don't-agree-with waiting for me.  There's no fear that my son will catch his father and me in either a bad argument.  I feel hopeful that the future will bring me even more happiness.

Future immediate plans . . . Vegas trip end of February, NOLA trip early-mid March, San Diego trip mid-March, Colorado trip mid April for my birthday.

So, watch for more fun blogs and posts coming your way.

Until then, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

When Does it stop?

Sis 1 here . . .

I had an epiphany today.  I realized that I harbor a lot of resentment and anger (I already knew this part) toward Dickhead.  The realization is that part of the current, pent up anger and resentment is due to the fact that he is finally doing things with other people that I wanted him to do with me for the last 25 years.  I want to strangle him for that and I'm mad at myself for allowing him that continuing power.  I hate feeling this way and I feel like I harp on it to my friends and even in my own head.  There is no reason for me to be hurt and pissed . . . it's just annoying that he's now doing what he could have been doing all along.  Now, don't get me wrong, it doesn't make me want to take him back and I don't think he's doing it to get me back.  I think he's just finally realized that if he wants to get along in this world, on his own, he has to think about other people too.

So, I've given myself a deadline to just stop it.  Stop harping; stop being pissed; stop being angry; stop being hurt; stop being resentful.  He will be moving out in a couple of weeks.  At that time, I'm going to scrub my apartment from top to bottom, erasing all signs of his tenancy. And with the literal cleansing, I think it will create a figurative cleansing, as well.  I think at that point, I will be totally over it all.  If not, people need to Gibbs-smack me and get me back on track.

I'll keep you posted.

Until the next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Monday, January 28, 2013

You Don't Know Me . . . Don't Assume I'm Fucking Up

Sis 1 here . . .

So I agreed to a February challenge to not eat refined sugars. WTF?  February, really?!  But,  since I don't eat much in the way of refined sugars usually, this is not a big deal.  It's now becoming a big deal though because the trainer who created this challenge doesn't seem to realize that he isn't the only one that knows nutrition.  (Yes, Sis 2 . . . I know he's your trainer and a nutritionist, but he pissed me off today.  It doesn't help that it's FUCKING MONDAY and I feel like SHIT.) 

Here's the deal . . . I HATE for people to tell me what to eat, how much to eat, and when to eat it.  I'm a grown ass woman . . . I know all that information.  Also, because I do have health issues, I have to watch it and I calculate everything. And I have done this with my own DOCTOR and NUTRITIONIST.  If I decide to eat something like a donut, I have to cut something else out to make room for it.  I know this and I practice it religiously . . . actually more than religiously, because I'm not religious (another blog another time).  So, when I say, I'm going to eat my chocolate on Valentine's Day, I don't need toj ustify it to you or anyone else, and when I say I'm not giving up my coffee, you should be saying, "Thank God, we can all live longer."  Because trust me  . . . me without coffee is not a me you want to know.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . .

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Let's Do This

Sis 1 here . . .

Sorry we haven't blogged much lately, just so much going on.  Not a good excuse if we want you to keep following us, but we are new to this and will attempt to do better.

Updates--Dickhead is moving out sooner than expected.  He was supposed to be out by the end of March, and now it will be mid to end of February.  WOOOTY WOOT WOOT WOOT!  The funny part .  . . he's moving in with a girl.  She supposedly isn't his girlfriend, but the clench I saw them in out in my parking lot the other night says otherwise.  I don't care, but really . . . in my parking lot, where I live, where people don't know we're getting divorced, where your son can see you?  Can't wait for this mother fucker to get out.

Of course, because of the earlier move, he will actually have to come back and stay with the Boy when I go on vacation.  It's in the Boy's best interest, since where he is moving to is way farther than 5 minutes to school.  So . . . it will be awhile before I buy a new bed . . . I'll have one of those air beds for awhile.  Note:  he is taking the bed with him (with my blessing), but I'll be damned if I buy a new bed and he sleeps in it while I'm out of town.  Ewwwwwww!

Anyway . . . hope everyone has a very #sassyandsarcastic week.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Poetic Justice . . . Or Karma's My Best Bitch

Sis 1 here . . .

I'm up early on a Saturday morning. Lots of things on my mind, don't want to be up so early, but, like most women and/or moms, sleeping in on the weekends went away a long time ago.  So, I'm sitting here, reading my social media, drinking my morning mana, e.g., mainlining caffiene, when I hear Dickhead on the phone, in the other room, screaming at someone.  Interesting.  I can hear everything he is saying and  I'm thinking, "Wow!  Someone else is getting it today."

When the phone call was over, I went in (because I am a curious cat) to see what that was all about.  Low and behold, he was yelling at his precious high school sweetheart (more on that in a minute).  And all I could think was, "Bwahahaha . . . Karma strikes again!"

The high school sweetheart . . . actually blown up in his mind apparently, but they have reconnected.  That's fine by me, except that they were reconnecting while we were supposedly trying to work things out.  He didn't see anything wrong with Facebook flirting with her, texting with her, calling her, and I wouldn't either if he hadn't just had a conniption fit when I did the very same thing.  Literally, 2 entire counseling sessions were spent on me TALKING to an old flame.

When we were home visiting last summer, he met up with her in person.  And, without any warning, BROUGHT HER HOME TO HIS MOMMA'S HOUSE TO HAVE DINNER WITH THE FAMILY, INCLUDING ME AND HIS CHILD!!!! We spent only 1 counseling session on that, because he didn't see that it was a problem.

So now, they are fighting, bickering, over some stupid Facebook shit, and I say thank you to my friend, Karma.  She is a bitch, but I love her.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Maniacal Mondays

Sis 1 here . . .

The weekend is over and Monday is here.  Oh joy, oh happy day, oh who the fuck am I kidding?  Mondays suck, but bring it on, Bitch.  Normally, I have a game plan going into work every day, but on Mondays, the game plan goes out the window.  There is no thoughtful email response, no research into cutting edge medical technology, no completing the checklist.  There is only stupidity.  That's right, stupid people doing stupid things, with predictably stupid outcomes.

The phone will ring off the hook and I will sit there and answer it, trying not to let the sarcasm come through in my tone. And you know, my voice is dripping with sarcasm. I will not tell the person at the other end of the phone line, that if they can access their email, they can access our website.  What's that you ask?  People will call all day long asking for proof of their coverage (aka insurance).  When I ask them if they've gone on line to obtain it, thinking maybe they had a problem accessing our website, they say things like, "I don't have time for that" or "I don't have internet access " and then proceed to request the damn thing be emailed to them.  WTF?!  My response to the first is, "Well, I don't have time to talk to dumbasses, but I'm doing it now." and to the second, "Are you fucking kidding me?"  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my job . . . no seriously, I really do.  I've been there for 22 years.  What I don't love is stupidity.  You can't fix stupid.

So, on this cold Monday morning, I'm loading up on caffeine, as if there is enough caffeine in the world to deal with Maniacal Mondays.  I will sit at my desk, and numbly or dumbly . . . take your pick . . . answer the phone and deal with stupid.  All. Fucking. Day. Long.

And with that, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . .

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Welcome to 2013, Bitches!

Sis 1 here . . .

2013 has begun with a bang.  I will stay positive about the things happening in my life, but guess what?  I will not put up with any shit!  Those of you that know me, may find that to be a strange comment, and those that have read previous posts, may be scratching your heads.  Here's the deal . . . while I am a real sassy and sarcastic bitch, I tend to be a people pleaser.  I genuinely want everyone around me to be happy and oftentimes make sure they are, to my own detriment.  Well, no more . . . this bitch is empowered for 2013.

I've already started . . . at home, at work, and with people that think they can get away with shit.  I'm actually finding it kind of fun and it's only Day 3.  Bwahahahahaha!

Now, keep in mind, I'm not being nasty or mean to people, just firm and holding my ground.  It's putting a smile on my face (well--that's not the only thing putting a smile on my face, but that's for another blog) and I'm going to enjoy this year.

So, until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic and stay or become #empowered!