Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My turn

Sis 1 here...

My turn to blog. So many things to say but don't want to bore you.  So, I'll just say... I've been in a bad head space the last few days, avoiding social media. I had a lot of concerns about the future.  But you know what?  The one person who was able to guide me was Top. He gave me great advice and snapped me out of my funk.  Love him.

His advice?  Take it one day at a time. Just because things are changing, doesn't mean it happens overnight.

This was timely because I had it in my head that once jackass was gone, my life would suddenly be better. It is, but it is taking time. I'm not suddenly rich and can't suddenly do all the things I want to do. I have to plan and budget. So, it's a process and I have a lot of great friends and a fabulous man, as well as a wonderful son. Between them all, my life is pretty good.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Alone vs Lonely

Sis 1 here...

I spend a lot of time alone, but that doesn't equal lonely.  I enjoy my time alone. I will say there are times when I am lonely though.

I have no family near by and the majority of my friends are at least an hour away. I keep myself busy so I can't dwell on it, because if I don't, I put my head in a bad place.  But there are times when I wish people were closer to my place so we can do things. I would love to go out on a Saturday night or have brunch on Sunday. I guess I need to expand my horizons to do this.

In just four years, the Boy will be out of high school and I'm seriously considering moving out of sunny SoCal to be closer to family and friends. However, I have no desire to live in Indiana again.

For now, I'll deal with it and hope to do more with folks here.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Thursday, April 25, 2013


Sis 1 here . . .

I just returned from my birthday trip visiting Top.  It was wonderful!  When my plane landed, I had a text that he was running late and was so sorry.  It didn't matter because the plane was late too.  So as I came up the escalator, he was walking up, searching faces, looking for me.  He was the first person I saw--I zeroed in on him and crooked my finger at him.  We walked on the opposite sides of the barrier, me beckoning him to me and him with a wide-eyed look on his face.

The first kiss in over 26 years made my toes curl.  As we walked to get my bags, we couldn't let go of each other and he couldn't take his eyes off of me.  we walked arm in arm--I fit perfectly under his arm and he kept me close.  It was as if we were never apart all these years.

On the drive to his home, we didn't talk too much--I think we were both so nervous.  But you know what?  It was a comfortable silence.  we got to his place and his brother (BB) was there with dinner waiting.  He too had the big wide-eyed look.  It was like coming home.

We ate, drank, smoked, and talked a lot--all three of us.  Then we went in his room . . . you don't get those details, but suffice to say, it was pure bliss, more than satisfying.

Unfortunately, he had to work for three days straight, but we had the mornings and nights to ourselves. He made me breakfast in the morning, sometimes one of us cooked dinner, and other times he bought dinner for us.

He loaned me his car to meet up with two friends of mine, one of whom I hadn't seen in 35 years.  I took him to work and picked him up on the Army base.  Mmmmm . . . that is such a turn on to realize he served his country for 25 years.

The evenings were beautiful as we watched the playoffs and drank and talked. He put music on and danced with me.  He held me in his arms all night every night.  So nice to have a man hold me and not complain about sleeping space.  In fact, if I got up in the middle of the night, he'd hold me tighter.

On the last two days he didn't have to work.  We spent the days just chillin' and talking.  He fell asleep on the sofa with his legs up in my lap--I drank wine all day and watched NCIS.  LOL!

I was sad to leave and truly think I could live there.  Hopefully, things will work out so that we can be together in the future.  If not, I'll always have these memories of a perfect vacation.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Paradise.. It Is a Coming

Sis 1 here...

No dog, no cats, no kid for the next 6 days.  Woo hoo! Don't get me wrong, I love them, especially the kid, but damn it's never ending. I'm about to leave for my birthday trip and be pampered and treated like a queen. Can't wait to see my friends and especially Top. It's been too long.
Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


Sis 1 here . . .

Yesterday was a day for shock, anger, pain, rage at the Boston Marathon bombings.  Today is a day for reflection.

You see, while I still carry all the emotions from yesterday, today I see the first responders, the military that ran in full gear and then went back to help the others.  I see the humanity of these and others that post.  This gives me hope.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Monday, April 15, 2013

WTF is wrong with people??

Seriously? Bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon? WTF is wrong with people these days? I have no words to completely describe my anger and disgust over these types of events. I am sickened to see one after another - people injured and killed in the name of politics, religion or whatever! 

Further that with the fact I am a runner (granted I am not an elite runner and will never qualify nor attempt something like the Boston Marathon) but to know that some of the injured are people that live for running (you have to be that dedicated to be that elite) and may never run again or at the very least were unable to finish a race they dreamed of and trained so hard to do.

Whoever did this and for whatever reason -- get the fuck over yourself and your "cause" -- may you rot in the deepest depths of HELL because that is where you belong. 

Sad and disgusted but trying hard to keep it #sassyandsarcastic  

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Queen Treatment

Sis 1 here...

Two hour hair appointment and three hour nail appointment....treated like a queen in anticipation of my bday.

So excited...getting to see good friends soon and spending a long weekend with Top. I'm about ready to pee my pants! Only give more days!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Friday, April 12, 2013

New Style Pick Up Line??

Sis 2 here -

So yesterday I get a private message from a "friend of a friend" on Facebook and it reads: 

          youre hot - I would eat that vajayjay

Now I know I sit a little north of the 40 year old mark but is this some kind of new pick up line or mating ritual that I am not aware of? Um, how about no thanks - go eat some other "vajayjay". 

I know you are all super jealous that this super romantic, highly educator guy is not after you so until then ... keep it #sassyandsarcastic 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Never Ask A Question ...

Sis 2 here - 

Tonight I was reminded of a very valuable idea: never ask a question unless you are prepared to hear an answer you won't like

Had a Facebook conversation with someone that SUPPOSEDLY cares about me and has even used the "L" word to describe their feelings. The following is the basic break down of the conversation:  (this person shall be called "The Other" for the purposes of this blog post)
Italics are my internal thoughts during the conversation. 

The Other:    I feel special
Me:               Because you are ... at least to me
The Other:   Thank you
          (really only a mother fucking thank you - how about you are special to me as well?) 
Me:               But you already knew that
The Other:    Yes Ma'am
Me:                Mmmmm - wonder where I stand though?
          (crickets chirping now - mofo, it shows you saw the message but didn't answer) 
Me:                Hmmm - maybe no answer is really my answer to where I stand
          (The Other has logged off) 

So of course, I forgot all about my break thru from yesterday and began to eat junk to push down my feelings. But tomorrow is another day and I WILL remember this conversation and the lack of response from The Other and I WILL get back on track and remember that this is about ME and no one else! 

Guess I have my answer for now AND was reminded of a very valuable idea ... 

Until then, keep it #sassyandsarcastic 


Sis 1 here . . .

It is interesting that Sis and I are on the same page with our thinking.  I had just had my own revelations the other day and she had hers yesterday.  So, tagging on to what she said . . .

I had an epiphany.  It's hard to put in to words, but here goes.

The other day, I was talking on the phone to Top (a very close, personal friend) and he asked me what I was wearing.  When I told him lounging pajamas, he said,

1.  "you must be cold natured, because you are always wearing long pants and staying covered up."

My response to that was that I was on the patio and people could see me.  He then said,

2.  "the Sis 1 (insert my name here), I knew wouldn't have cared about that and you must have lost your self-confidence."

Now, I do have self-confidence, but that has been rattling around in my brain for a few days.  It finally became clear . . . I lost my confidence for so many years and now I understand.

For years, Dickhead either would tell me something didn't look good on me or he just ignored me.  I don't think he meant to, but did it nonetheless.

I pinpointed when we stopped going out and doing things.  It was about 20 years ago.  (Yes, I know--long fucking time to tolerate shit!)  I had put on a little black dress, spiked heels, and wrapped this funky snake bracelet around my ankle.  He took one look and told me I looked like a hooker and to put on something less trashy.  Needless to say, we didn't go out that night.

Sidebar:  Top put this in perspective.  Dickhead didn't want other men looking at me.  Instead of soaking it in and being proud of me and how I looked, he was insecure and had to bring me to his level.  It worked for a very long time. {end sidebar}

For the majority of our life together, Dickhead pretty much ignored me and we didn't go anywhere or do anything.  I subconsciously started eating more, exercising less, and kept to myself.  I gained a lot of weight which made me more self conscious.  I started changing my clothing style--dressing more and more like a little old lady.  In other words, if I was invisible to him, I would be invisible to the world.

There were a couple periods--away from him--that I started changing back to the true me.  Both times, I ate better, exercised, and lost a lot of weight.  But once I was back with him, lost the confidence and gained back all the weight and more.

Now, I'm done with that shit.  I eating better, exercising more (although I really fucking hate exercising) and dressing better.  I'm happier than I've been in a very long time and that 17 year confident girl is shining through.  People are noticing--I smile A LOT, I laugh, I'm playful, and little things are not setting me off.  People are coming to me out of the blue and commenting on how happy I seem.  So, while I've been getting happier and this epiphany brought it all home, I have some self improvement still to go, starting with self love (minds out of the gutter).

I've done my time and now the Real Bitch is back!  Some would say, I've always maintained the Bitch, but really, it was a facade, a defense mechanism.  When I say the Bitch is back, I mean Babe In Total Control of Herself.

I am a good person who let an albatross hang around my neck too long.  I am intelligent, witty, and even pretty.  Even if I didn't think so myself, it's confirmed these days by other sources.  Not that confirmation is required, but when you've been hiding for 20 years, it's nice.

Another part of my epiphany was a book I was reading.  Not a self-help book, but a good, old-fashioned mystery/thriller.  The heroine was an older lady that realized she's become virtually invisible to society.  I identified with her and I swear I will not be invisible.  So look out world--I'm back and I take no prisoners.

In the words of Alanis Morissette:

I'm a bitch, I'm a love, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed . . .
I've been numb, I'm revised can't say I'm not alive . . .

This one was long, but needed to get out.  Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Time to think about ME

So I posted earlier about the big step of having the conversation with the hubs about separating and divorce ... wow, it is amazing the weight just having that conversation and starting the process has taken off my shoulders. I was having bouts of severe insomnia again the last few months and now I can sleep. I still find myself struggling with emotional eating but that too will go away (okay maybe not disappear completely but I will get a better handle on it again) when this stressful week settles down.

The best part was when I realized that I was truly doing this for ME -- not because I hated him or because I wanted someone else but because it was time for ME to be happy even if that means alone!

Time to think about ME ... and I love it!

Keep it #sassyandsarcastic ... and remember, take some time to think about YOU! You will be amazed at how it makes you feel!

#sassyandsarcastic #sistercasm

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Seriously, Dude?!

Sis 1 here....

So I get this phone call from a medical supplies company in response to my inquiry... From OVER A YEAR AGO!  Dumb mother fucker says he can get me my supplies cheaper than I currently do.  Interesting because I have fabulous insurance and pay a small co-pay for meds and my test strips are free AND if I need a new meter, also FREE. But, I let him do his spiel and at the end of it, it will only cost me $50 to switch to their company and only $20 a month for test strips.  Now, I know I'm not great at math, but that shit sounds like it costs more than free. I'm just sayin'.

So, no, Jackass, I don't want to switch and thank you for taking 5 minutes of my time that I'll never get back. #smh

In other news, I had the locks changed today and feel really good about it.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Monday, April 8, 2013


Sis 2 here -- it has been a long time in the coming but finally revisited a talk with the husband. Gave him a letter on Friday saying we need to separate and then had the big conversation Saturday evening. Weight off my shoulders -- he agreed without a fight. We have lived as roommates that share children for years and while he had grown complacent with that arrangement, I grew more and more frustrated. We told the kids on Sunday and both seem to be fine. In typical teenage girl fashion, the daughter wanted to know if that meant she got double of everything. Next big huddle is telling the crazy old people aka my parents. 

For now (due to financial constraints) we will remain in the same household, I have moved into another bedroom and we will begin the process of separation. 

Will keep everyone posted as the process continues but for now ...  keeping it #sassyandsarcastic 

Friday, April 5, 2013

TGIF Bitches!

Sis 1 here . . .

I know, I know, I've said it before, we're behind on blogging.  So, here's the last month or so in a nutshell . . .

Sis 2 and I went to NOLA and had a freaking blast!!!!  It's really fun when you walk down famous Bourbon Street, stop in different bars and the ALL have your drink ready and call you by name.  I felt like Norm in Cheers.  Or how fun is this?  Walked into our favorite karaoke bar and they remembered me/us from prior years' visits.  I mean, come on . . . these people see thousands of tourists every year and they remember us.  FUCKING AWESOME!

As I previously posted, Dickhead moved out and now I've officially filed for divorce.  A huge weight is off my shoulders (not to mention out of my house).  I feel like I've been stagnating for the last 25 years and now, I'm like a youngster again . . . but smarter.  Woo hoo!

My next trip is for my birthday.  I'm heading to Colorado to see old friends . . . one of whom I've been friends with since 2nd grade and haven't seen since 6th grade.  Another used to work with me and we see each other about once a year or every other year for a minute.  And another whom I haven't seen since 1986.  I can't freaking wait to celebrate my birthday with them.

Finally, the Boy is starting high school in the Fall and I took him to the freshman fair at his new high school.  Freshman Fair is for incoming freshmen to get a tour of the campus and sign up for clubs.  I told the Boy he had to sign up for at least three that night.  What was the first thing he signed up for?  DRAMA CLUB!  He'll be running that place before you know it.

All out of time now.  Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic  . . . .

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Deed is Done

Sis 1 here...

The promised post... I filed for divorce today.  Yay me!

Keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Life is Good

Sis 1 here...

Once again we are behind on our blog, but just want to say... Life is good.   Details tomorrow after certain deeds are done.

Until then... Keep it #sassyandsarcastic....