Monday, January 28, 2013

You Don't Know Me . . . Don't Assume I'm Fucking Up

Sis 1 here . . .

So I agreed to a February challenge to not eat refined sugars. WTF?  February, really?!  But,  since I don't eat much in the way of refined sugars usually, this is not a big deal.  It's now becoming a big deal though because the trainer who created this challenge doesn't seem to realize that he isn't the only one that knows nutrition.  (Yes, Sis 2 . . . I know he's your trainer and a nutritionist, but he pissed me off today.  It doesn't help that it's FUCKING MONDAY and I feel like SHIT.) 

Here's the deal . . . I HATE for people to tell me what to eat, how much to eat, and when to eat it.  I'm a grown ass woman . . . I know all that information.  Also, because I do have health issues, I have to watch it and I calculate everything. And I have done this with my own DOCTOR and NUTRITIONIST.  If I decide to eat something like a donut, I have to cut something else out to make room for it.  I know this and I practice it religiously . . . actually more than religiously, because I'm not religious (another blog another time).  So, when I say, I'm going to eat my chocolate on Valentine's Day, I don't need toj ustify it to you or anyone else, and when I say I'm not giving up my coffee, you should be saying, "Thank God, we can all live longer."  Because trust me  . . . me without coffee is not a me you want to know.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . .

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Let's Do This

Sis 1 here . . .

Sorry we haven't blogged much lately, just so much going on.  Not a good excuse if we want you to keep following us, but we are new to this and will attempt to do better.

Updates--Dickhead is moving out sooner than expected.  He was supposed to be out by the end of March, and now it will be mid to end of February.  WOOOTY WOOT WOOT WOOT!  The funny part .  . . he's moving in with a girl.  She supposedly isn't his girlfriend, but the clench I saw them in out in my parking lot the other night says otherwise.  I don't care, but really . . . in my parking lot, where I live, where people don't know we're getting divorced, where your son can see you?  Can't wait for this mother fucker to get out.

Of course, because of the earlier move, he will actually have to come back and stay with the Boy when I go on vacation.  It's in the Boy's best interest, since where he is moving to is way farther than 5 minutes to school.  So . . . it will be awhile before I buy a new bed . . . I'll have one of those air beds for awhile.  Note:  he is taking the bed with him (with my blessing), but I'll be damned if I buy a new bed and he sleeps in it while I'm out of town.  Ewwwwwww!

Anyway . . . hope everyone has a very #sassyandsarcastic week.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Poetic Justice . . . Or Karma's My Best Bitch

Sis 1 here . . .

I'm up early on a Saturday morning. Lots of things on my mind, don't want to be up so early, but, like most women and/or moms, sleeping in on the weekends went away a long time ago.  So, I'm sitting here, reading my social media, drinking my morning mana, e.g., mainlining caffiene, when I hear Dickhead on the phone, in the other room, screaming at someone.  Interesting.  I can hear everything he is saying and  I'm thinking, "Wow!  Someone else is getting it today."

When the phone call was over, I went in (because I am a curious cat) to see what that was all about.  Low and behold, he was yelling at his precious high school sweetheart (more on that in a minute).  And all I could think was, "Bwahahaha . . . Karma strikes again!"

The high school sweetheart . . . actually blown up in his mind apparently, but they have reconnected.  That's fine by me, except that they were reconnecting while we were supposedly trying to work things out.  He didn't see anything wrong with Facebook flirting with her, texting with her, calling her, and I wouldn't either if he hadn't just had a conniption fit when I did the very same thing.  Literally, 2 entire counseling sessions were spent on me TALKING to an old flame.

When we were home visiting last summer, he met up with her in person.  And, without any warning, BROUGHT HER HOME TO HIS MOMMA'S HOUSE TO HAVE DINNER WITH THE FAMILY, INCLUDING ME AND HIS CHILD!!!! We spent only 1 counseling session on that, because he didn't see that it was a problem.

So now, they are fighting, bickering, over some stupid Facebook shit, and I say thank you to my friend, Karma.  She is a bitch, but I love her.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Maniacal Mondays

Sis 1 here . . .

The weekend is over and Monday is here.  Oh joy, oh happy day, oh who the fuck am I kidding?  Mondays suck, but bring it on, Bitch.  Normally, I have a game plan going into work every day, but on Mondays, the game plan goes out the window.  There is no thoughtful email response, no research into cutting edge medical technology, no completing the checklist.  There is only stupidity.  That's right, stupid people doing stupid things, with predictably stupid outcomes.

The phone will ring off the hook and I will sit there and answer it, trying not to let the sarcasm come through in my tone. And you know, my voice is dripping with sarcasm. I will not tell the person at the other end of the phone line, that if they can access their email, they can access our website.  What's that you ask?  People will call all day long asking for proof of their coverage (aka insurance).  When I ask them if they've gone on line to obtain it, thinking maybe they had a problem accessing our website, they say things like, "I don't have time for that" or "I don't have internet access " and then proceed to request the damn thing be emailed to them.  WTF?!  My response to the first is, "Well, I don't have time to talk to dumbasses, but I'm doing it now." and to the second, "Are you fucking kidding me?"  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my job . . . no seriously, I really do.  I've been there for 22 years.  What I don't love is stupidity.  You can't fix stupid.

So, on this cold Monday morning, I'm loading up on caffeine, as if there is enough caffeine in the world to deal with Maniacal Mondays.  I will sit at my desk, and numbly or dumbly . . . take your pick . . . answer the phone and deal with stupid.  All. Fucking. Day. Long.

And with that, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . .

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Welcome to 2013, Bitches!

Sis 1 here . . .

2013 has begun with a bang.  I will stay positive about the things happening in my life, but guess what?  I will not put up with any shit!  Those of you that know me, may find that to be a strange comment, and those that have read previous posts, may be scratching your heads.  Here's the deal . . . while I am a real sassy and sarcastic bitch, I tend to be a people pleaser.  I genuinely want everyone around me to be happy and oftentimes make sure they are, to my own detriment.  Well, no more . . . this bitch is empowered for 2013.

I've already started . . . at home, at work, and with people that think they can get away with shit.  I'm actually finding it kind of fun and it's only Day 3.  Bwahahahahaha!

Now, keep in mind, I'm not being nasty or mean to people, just firm and holding my ground.  It's putting a smile on my face (well--that's not the only thing putting a smile on my face, but that's for another blog) and I'm going to enjoy this year.

So, until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic and stay or become #empowered!