I Need a New Tattoo

Sis 1 here . . .

I love tattoos . . . Now don't get me wrong, I'm not all tatted up; I only have one so far.  And, any tats I have must be strategically located, because of the job I'm in.  I also think that tats should have special meaning.  The one I have is a fleur de lis and I got it in New Orleans.  Sis 2 has a matching one.  For me, that tat symbolized the beginning of the end.  It kept me strong while I was trying to get my shit together to change my life.

Now that my divorce is final, I'm ready for my next tat.  I have it designed.  It will be on my inner wrist . . . An infinity symbol with a double K entwined in it and above it, these words from Shakespeare, "To thine own self be true."  This is to remind me to be true to me and never lose myself in someone again.  It is my symbol for starting over.  I'm not stopping there, I need my dragonfly as a symbol of new life and my hummingbird as a reminder for my family that has passed but is not forgotten in my heart.

So, I need to get moving on these.  I could use some additional funding though.  Taking all donations.  LOL!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Celebrity Sighting

Sis 1 here . . .

I've lived in LA for 24 years and I seldom see any celebrities.  We don't tend to run in the same circles.  LOL!  When I do see them, I tend not to say anything, because I don't want to bother them.  But, I learned a hard lesson several years ago.  I ran into Rod Stewart in a grocery store.  I had a mad crush on that man and I chickened out talking to him.  Missed opportunity.  After that, I vowed that if I saw a celebrity that I was/am into, I will say something . . . without being too obtrusive.  I did that when I met Sean Astin.  We went to college together and we became friends for awhile (along with his wonderful wife who is a fellow Hoosier).  We lost touch after graduating from college.

Tonight, I came home from a book signing.  I've met the author, Sue Monk Kidd, four times now. To me, she seems like family, but she's really a big deal now.  Her new book is the current #1 bestseller (and it's fabulous y'all) and she's Oprah's Bookclub 2.0 choice!   So cool, right?

Right.  But here's even cooler.  I met Blair from Facts of Life, y'all!  Yup, that's right.  Lisa Welchel was at the book signing.  I swear I stared at her the whole time deciding how to approach her.  I finally just went up, apologized for staring and asked if she was who she was.  She was very gracious and kind and confirmed.  I told her how I used to run home from school to watch her on The New Mickey Mouse Club and then saw every episode of Facts of Life.  I had such a girl crush on her.  She was so beautiful and I just loved her.  BTW--still f'g beautiful and looks the same as she did back then.  I think she was a little surprised about the MMC, because everyone knows who Blair is, but maybe not that she was on MMC.  She asked my name . . . which I stuttered out . . . and then introduced me to her friend Michelle (who I apologized for interrupting and she was super nice too).  I did chicken out about getting her autograph, because I didn't want to be too pushy.  But dang, that was really cool. I'm still excited.

So, tonight, was a great night.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic  . . . .

You Can't Fix Stupid

Sis 1 here . . .

"You Can't Fix Stupid."  I saw this on a bumper sticker once and it hit home. I had been ranting about stupid people and the stupid things they do.  I kept saying I didn't understand why they didn't get it.  Why can't they do what they are supposed to do?  You've been doing a particular job for 20 years and you still can't get it right?  You've been driving since you were 16 and you still don't know how to use a turn signal properly?  I used to get so mad about these things.  I'd yell and rant and get stressed out . . . All for stupid stuff.  And then I saw the bumper sticker.  Now, I don't get mad or stress anymore.  I just say, "you can't fix stupid."  And then I move on. Well, that's not totally true, but I try.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Blog Fodder

Sis 1 here . . .

What is blog fodder?  Well, it's shit that happens that makes me want to write about it.  My divorce, my dating life, stupid shit that happens, funny shit that happens, or just shit I've seen on the internet or out on the street.

Sometimes, shit is so damn funny, that you just can't make it up.  Other times, it's so damn annoying, you just have to get it off your chest.  But more than anything else, blog fodder is cathartic.  ESD does something stupid . . . Write about it and show how fucking stupid he is.  Guy sends picture of his dick before we meet . . . Time to write about it and wonder how he thinks I'd want to date him.  High school antics . . . Never off limits and so much fun to reminisce.

So, this blog is just fodder . . . Filling space while I work out other shit in my head.  Maybe Sis 2 has something to add.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic. . . .

People of Walmart

Sis 1 here . . .

Have you seen those pictures of the People of Walmart floating around in cyber land?  I have no words sometimes.  When I first see the words, "People of Walmart," I take offense.  I shop at Walmart all the time.  I'm a true capitalist and want the most bang for my buck.  I won't apologize for shopping there, so please, no lectures about the management ethics, etc.  My bottom line is my wallet.

Ok, moving on.  When I open the pictures of the People of Walmart, I cringe.  I mean seriously people . . . WTF?!  People are out there shopping in their underwear or worse without underwear, they have stains in places you don't want to know what the stains are, they wear the most outlandish clothing styles, have the fucked up hair styles, and are just plain nasty.

The funny thing is . . . I've never once seen anyone at Walmart dress like these characters.  It makes me wonder where these folks are.  Mainly, I want to know so I can avoid them.

Seriously, if you want a gut busting laugh, go to http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/.  You're guaranteed to either laugh or cry . . . Or maybe both.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Travel Time

Sis 1 here . . .

Today, we talk about travel.  I love to travel!  I love to pack and re-pack, and re-re-pack, and re-re-re-pack . . . Yeah--I change my mind a lot so I pack several times until I get it just right.  I have learned that if I don't do this, I end up taking way too much stuff with me that I don't use.  And if I wait until the last minute, I end up forgetting things I need.  Now, I do have a travel packing list for the basics, so I seldom forget that stuff, but every once in a while, I'm very thankful that the hotels usually have the amenities I need.

When I travel, most of the time, I take road trips.  The cool thing about road trips, is that you really don't have to limit what you're taking with you.  If it fits in the car, you can take it.  If you don't need it, you don't take it out of the car.  I did one cross country trip where I took the microwave, coffee maker, and entire week's worth of groceries with me.  It came in handy.  When you stay at no-tell motel, you may not have these in your room and going out to eat on a fixed budget is a no-no.

One thing that I've learned about traveling by airplane though . . . If I can't carry it up and down four flights of stairs, I don't need it.  I refer mainly to my visits to New Orleans with Sis 2.  We always stay at the same place, in the same room.  It's a great place, but there are no elevators and we are on the top floor.  The staircase is winding and the banisters are shaky.  The first time we went, I was totally over packed.  I didn't think I'd make it up the stairs and worse was going down.  After that, I started packing less (and in a couple of instances, had a good male friend to lug that shit for me).

I just spent a weekend in Las Vegas.  I go there several times a year, so it's not that big a deal.  It's kind of my home away from home.  I know I don’t need much, a couple of changes of clothes, toiletries, and my electronics.  This time,  I had a rolling bin with a cooler in it with alcohol (can't leave the alcohol at home for the teenager and friends to be tempted).    It seems like I still take too much, but I can't seem to go with fewer than two bags.  I'm going back in two weeks, and I'm challenging myself to only one bag (and not a suitcase either).  I'll let you know how it goes.

Ha . . . Update before posting . . . I left a shit ton of clothes in the drawer in Vegas.  Damn!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Chauffeur Commedienne Extraordinaire

Sis 1 here . . .

Teenagers are fun!  No seriously, I mean it.  Most of the time, they drive me nuts, but a lot of the time, they are just plain fun.  My favorite time with my teens (and by my teens, I mean The Boy and his friends) is when I'm chauffeuring them all over the place.  You see, my teens know that I will drive them pretty much anywhere anytime.  And, while I can't wait until they can all drive themselves, I don't really mind driving them everywhere.

When my teens get in my car, they fight over the front seat to sit with me.  I've had to put a rotation in place so they will shut up . . . Teen girls are especially high-pitched whiny.  They love sitting up front because they get the #sassyandsarcastic up close and personal and they love it.  I don't censor myself with them as far as language and what not.  They play a game every time they get in the car of "what would you do if?" . . . For example, What would you do if we made the Boy drop out of school?  Response--I'd punch you in the throat.  They love that shit.

They also love that I don't let the Boy get away with bullshit.  He can be a mean girl sometimes and they don't always know how to respond to it.  I put him in his place whether we are alone or with the others.  I love my Boy, but he's not allowed to be a mean girl.

They also love that I crank the radio and sing along.  At first the Boy would get mad for me singing, but the other teens told him it's cool.  Now, he just rolls his eyes and if it's his turn in the front he sings the harmonies with me.

So, that's why I love my teens and think they're fun.  I'll probably have another post about why I hate teens and think they should all be locked away from society in another post, but not today.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .