Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Boob Food

Sis 1 here . . .

Boobs.  Did I get your attention?  Everyone loves boobs, right?  Whether you're male, female, gay, straight, baby, grown up . . . It doesn't matter.  Some women complain about their boobs--either too small, too big, too saggy.  But what we don't talk about is this . . . Boob food.  I'm not talking about breast feeding.  BTW--how awesome is that?   I'm talking about the day-to-day dilemma.  And this may not apply to all boob owners, but here's what I deal with every day.

I'm eating my meal, snack, whatever . . . The crumbs and sometimes even large bites end up in my bra. Every. Single. Time. I. Eat.  It doesn't matter if I use a bib or put my plate/bowl right under my chin, a la old fashioned Catholic communion, I end up with a full meal in my bra.  Now, sometimes, I struggle and dig that shit out as soon as it happens.  After all, bra crumbs are not comfortable.  But other times, I can't be bothered.  At the end of the day, I take off my bra and voila . . . Instant evening snack.  Ok, ok--I know that sounds gross and I don't really do that.  But, damn!  I could feed a small country with the waste.  Kinda like the loaves and fishes.

My new dilemma is this.  I was in a very long term relationship, so boob food was not an issue.  It was the status quo.  Now that I'm out there dating again, what happens if I decide to do the horizontal boogie?  I mean really.  What if the new man is going for the score and comes up with half a PB&J sandwich?  For some reason, I don't think he'll find that sexy.  Here I am in my sexy Vicky's Secret lingerie (ok, the Walmart equivalent) and he's all turned on, off comes the bra and presto . . . Here's your appetizer?! I hope you don't have allergies. Bwahahaha . . . .

Something to think about.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .


  1. OMG this is HILARIOUS! I hate it when I get crumbs in my bra---it itches and drives me crazy. It's especially embarrassing when it happens out in public and I'm digging around in there….getting strange looks….

    1. MM--IKR?! I hang out with mostly guys during the day and I'm constantly digging in my bra. Not that they're complaining about the glimpses they get. LOL!

      Sis 1