Thursday, January 9, 2014

Continuing Tales from a Teenage Alcoholic: Call My Uncle

Sis 1 here . . .

So, you know that Sis 2 and I grew up in a small, Midwestern town.  Unfortunately, racism was rampant then (and to a lesser extent, still is).  Sis and I though, we didn't care about skin color--still don't. And, at the time of this story, we were both dating black men.  I was dating Top and she was dating Little B.

So, one night, we decided to drive to our sister, small town for a party.  We took my car, a 1972 Dodge Dart Swinger, and proceeded to have a blast.  On the way home though, Top had to drive because I was very intoxicated. Imagine that!  So, we're driving along and all of a sudden a Deputy Sherriff (DS) pulls us over.  When Top asked why he pulled us over, DS says, "I pulled you over because the car you're driving looks like one that was reported stolen tonight."  Really?  A stolen 1972 Dodge Dart Swinger in 1984?  Come on now.  So, he asked for license and registration, which we gave him.  He got more suspicious because the license was Top's, and the registration was my dad and me.  He started giving us a hard time.  So of course, in our drunken state,  Sis and I  went off.

Now, keep in mind that Top and Little B are trying to shut Sis and me up.  They understand that bad things can happen to two black men in a car with two white women.  Sis and I hadn't yet gotten that memo, but we knew it was some racist bullshit.  So, we yelled at DS and told him he's a racist shit and a liar on top of it all.  He told us he was going to take us all to jail.  That's when I got really mouthy and told him to "call my uncle." He said I could use my one phone call to call my uncle.  I told him that he really didn't want me to do that, because if I called from the jail, he was going to lose his job.  You see, "my uncle," was the County Sherriff (CS). He wasn't really my uncle, but a very close family friend, who I called Uncle.

So, DS decided maybe he should call CS before he ran us all in.  So, he called dispatch who called CS at home.  CS ripped DS a new asshole and we could all hear it.  Not only did DS pull some bullshit on his "niece," but Top and Little B were star basketball players at our high school.  Oh yeah . . . Don't mess with our basketball players.  Ultimately, DS let us go and we headed home.  It's a fun, great story, but also sad commentary on the times.

Again though, now that I'm a parent, I hope my kid doesn't do this stupid shit.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

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