Bring On the New Year!

Sis 1 here . . .

Sis 2 and I had some "interesting" conversations last night and have been making great plans for 2013.  Cleaning up and cleaning out these last two days of 2012 and gonna kick it the fuck out the door.

Let me be perfectly clear . . . 2012 SUCKED ASS!  Were there good points?  Absolutely, and those good points ROCKED MY WORLD, but . . . overall, glad to see 2012 go.

Plans going ahead in 2013 to live life to the fullest and if anyone doesn't like the decisions that are made, they can suck it.  Remember this . . . and it took me a very long time to embrace this fully . . . you only get one life.  Make it yours.  Be happy and enjoy yourself.  If something makes you unhappy, get rid of it.  If you don't like your job, get a different one.  If you are in an unhappy marriage, fix it or leave it. If you want to live somewhere else, move.  If you want something, whether it be tangible or intangible, go get it.

The bottom line is . . . start thinking about you and what you need to be happy.  So many times, as women and mothers, we put everyone elses' needs above our own.  Guess what?  That doesn't work.  We become disillusioned and unhappy, which in turn makes everyone else unhappy.  So, make yourself happy.  It may be painful at first, for you and for the others in your life, but ultimately, your happiness will lead to their happiness.

Do this . . . pick one thing that you want to change, and take the steps to change it.  I'm not talking about making New Year's resolutions . . . that doesn't work and we all know it.  Just pick one aspect in your life that you want to change.  Think about what your ultimate goal is for that change, and take the steps to make it happen.  You'll see a huge difference in your life.  Once you've got that change done, pick something else to fix or change.  Sometimes you'll have to take baby steps to make lasting changes . . . and that can be painstakingly slow, but take it from me, it is so worth it.  I'll say this . . . 2012 was my painstakingly slow, baby steps year, but I did it and got through it, and I'm already in a  better place for making 2013 great.

So, do something for you.  Make this your year.   Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic.

Merry Christmas

Sis 1 & Sis 2 wishing all of you Merry Christmas to you and yours. Wishing you much love and happiness.

#sassyandsarcastic

In Remembrance

Sis 1 here...

Candles lit in remembrance of Sandy Hook.

Damn Glee

Sis 1 here...

Just watched the Christmas Glee. Damn them I say. Damn them.

Keep it #sassyandsarcastic....

Asshats!

Sis 1 here . . .

I was really trying to stay positive, but to no avail, and here's why.

My cousin, whom I adore, recently sent a message to me and some other relatives because she is going through some rough times financially and doesn't have enough money for Christmas for her three kids.  To ask for help in my family is a big deal because we are all stubborn and hard headed and think we don't need help, so you know she's in need.  So, of course, we are all pitching in.  Keep in mind that this is a young woman who works full-time, went to school full-time, and is raising her kids virtually alone.  She doesn't ask for handout and pays her own way and her kids are intelligent, involved, and just all around great kids.

I sent her a money order for some Boy Scout stuff I had ordered from her and also an AMEX gift card.  She sent me a text today that she got the card I sent her and the money order and gift card are missing!!!! Someone slit the envelope open and took them.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Karma is a real bitch and will catch up with that person . . . and that person better hope Karma finds him/her before I do.  Because, I'm a bigger bitch.

So, then I sent a text to my niece since I sent her a gift card and to a friend who is battling cancer since I sent her a money order--and I sent all this at the same time in the same type of envelopes.  My niece hasn't yet gotten her card and she is a little closer than my cousin.  I haven't yet heard from my friend who is local.

How can people be so damn fucked up?  It's bad enough that it's Christmas and they are stealing, but they are stealing from kids . . . basically, that money was for the kids.  And, they are potentially stealing from the severely ill.  I can't believe how fucked up it is.

I'm not naive . . . I know people are fucked up, but I normally believe the best of people until they prove me wrong.  Today, I'm about to say fuck that and think the worst of people until they prove me wrong.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic  . . . from #pissedoffsistercasm

Not Yet

Sis 1 here...

I'm not yet ready to be #sassyandsarcastic today. On this last week of school before Christmas break, I just want to tell you to hug your kids and pray for their continued safety.  Remember those poor families who lost their little angels just three days ago and keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic with love in your heart....

Sad and Disillusioned

Sis 1 here . . .

No rants today, just reflection on the fragility of life.  The elementary school shooting in Connecticut is another in a series of senseless acts of violence in this country.  I could go into the whole issue of gun control, the right to bear arms, and all the other arguments, but they aren’t going to change anything.

Let me state up front that I do believe in the right to bear arms; however, I don’t believe our founding fathers intended that right to be abused by owning semi-automatic weapons and turning them on the innocent.  The right to bear arms was created in a time of war—people needed to be able to defend their homes against invasion.  I still believe they/we have that right.

I also believe in gun control.  There is absolutely no good reason that anyone, other than military and law enforcement should have access to semi-automatic and fully automatic weapons.  There is also no good reason not to do thorough background checks.  If it takes six months to a year to be approved, so be it.  If you don’t have the patience to wait, you don’t have the patience to own a weapon. And sorry, #catscratchfever, you don’t need an AK47 for deer hunting . . . just sayin’.

Having said all that, there are those, that if determined, will find a way to obtain weapons and use them against the innocent.  In the case of yesterday’s tragedy, the weapons were registered to the gunman’s mother, who became his first victim.

Another big issue is access to mental health care.  The articles I’ve read are mixed as to whether the young man had mental disorders.  Let’s just get this clear . . . anyone who can go on a shooting spree like that, especially against young children, has a mental disorder.  Does that make him bad or evil?  Not necessarily.  By all reports, he seemed to be a “nice guy” and smart—an honor roll student when he was in high school.  So, what is the catalyst for someone to get up in the morning, shoot his mother in the face, drive to an elementary school, shoot and kill 28 people (20 of whom are children), before turning the gun on himself?  Would he have benefited from some sort of mental health care?  Did anyone recognize symptoms of mental illness?  Would it have mattered?  These are questions that we will never have answered as the only person that could answer them is dead by his own hand.

 So today, my heart goes out to those who lost loved ones.  I cannot imagine the pain of losing my child in “normal” circumstances, much less to such senseless violence.  But my heart also goes out to that young man that didn’t see another way out and committed the horrible deed.  While I’m sure we are all judging him, his final judgment is not ours to make.

Take a minute to reflect on what you have rather than what you want today--hug your kids, parents, significant others, friends, and family.  Let the people you love know that you love them.  Life is fragile.

 

#sadanddisillusioned at #sassyandsarcastic

 

Now this is Christmas!

Bah Frickin' Humbug

Sis 2 here -

Yay rah -it is almost Christmas time! (please read that dripping with sarcasm).

Yes, Christmas is a wonderful season - joyous and special. A time to spend with family and friends. Beautiful lights, carols, gifts, and food.

Yada Yada Yada. Just not feeling it. Now mind you, I like the food, the lights and decorations -- when someone else is doing them! Giving thoughtful gifts to others is fun and we all love receiving something meaningful but who wants to do all that wrapping (hello gift bags!) Time with family -- well, sometimes that is a blessing and sometimes that is why they make wine! And don't even get me started on all the overachieving moms at this time of the year - hand knitting scarves for everyone in the family, moving that stalker Elf on the Shelf around the house each night, baking 9,000 varieties of Christmas cookies, wrapping each persons gift in individual paper, writing the next Great American Novel for a Christmas letter, etc.

Now I haven't always felt this way. As I have gotten older and the kids have less and less appreciation for the prep for Christmas, my desire to decorate, bake Christmas cookies, send cards, etc. has waned until I feel closer to the Grinch before his heart grew. And this year may be the frosting on those proverbial Christmas cookies!

As you may recall from a previous blog post, Spousal Unit was gone for a business trip that went from being 2 days long to 4 days long. Prior to his leaving I had requested (multiple times) that he get the Christmas tree out of the attic for me - this request was not fulfilled. So finally on Tuesday I decided to say "fuck it" and just do it myself. Yes, the box the tree is in is bigger than me (and I am not a small girl) and yes, it probably weighs almost as much as me but I can do it right? So I climb the stairs to the attic access in our garage and begin to wrestle the box to the access opening. Hmmm - the box is slightly larger than the opening which means while I am man-handling this heavy, awkward box I also have to squeeze it to make it fit. Okay let's do this.

Attempt #1 results in me getting it stuck in the opening! Just fucking great!!! So I push and push and finally it goes back into the attic. I step back to regroup, curse a few times (because surely that will make the box shrink) and go back in.

Attempt #2 begins better - the box lines up with the opening and begins to come down the stairs and then BAM it is stuck again and this time it is stuck even tighter. So here I am at the top of these rickety stairs - pushing, pulling, squeezing and cursing to get this box to move. Nope - won't come out of the attic and won't go back in. Fuck! So I push and pull some more when suddenly this box that probably weighs close to 150 lbs. comes loose and begins to barrel out of the opening straight at me! I have nowhere to go but down so I grab the rail of the stairs and jump from the 3rd step to the concrete floor of our basement as the box flies past me and crashes to the floor. I end up wrenching my back and shoulder, scraping and bruising the knuckles on both hands, the tree stand busts out the side of the box and one of the METAL stocking hangers is cracked in two pieces. I drag the box into the house and as I begin to assemble the tree daughter and her friend sit and watch. The tree is up (and has been since Tuesday) but has not yet been decorated (it does have lights but that is because I was smart and bought a pre-lit tree) - guess that is going to be left to me as well.

Is Christmas over yet?? Oh shit - that just means I will have to take the tree down and wrestle it back into the attic.

Keeping Christmas Sassy and Sarcastic.

Exactly

Sis 1 here . . .

Sis 2 put this pic on her Facebook.  It's exactly what I was talking about.

Keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . .

About Us

Sis 1 here . . .

So, Sis 2 alluded to our long time friendship/sisterhood.  I thought I'd elaborate. Please keep in mind that I just finished a bottle of wine and am feeling very nostalgic tonight . . . especially after today's news.  Did I mention that my mother advised me of her recent nuptials via a group email?!  Oh yes, see the previous post.

Anyway, Sis and I have been friends/sisters since we were about 8 or 9 years old.  We are so damn much alike, it's actually scary.  We were inseparable for so many years,  but unfortunately had some sort of falling out my senior year of high school.  (Sidebar--we are 6 months apart in age, but a year apart in school.  That whole age cutoff thing.)  We didn't speak to each other for 25 years.  She remained in the Midwest and I moved to sunny, Southern California (with the soon to be ex . . . see previous posts).

About 3-4 years ago, we caught up on Facebook.  BTW . . . I love Facebook and I hate Facebook.  We started talking again, and it was if the 25 years just didn't exist.  We picked up where we left off.  Another sidebar . . . neither one of us can actually remember what our falling out was about. 

Once we started catching up, it was as if we never were apart.  We now see each other at least once a year or if possible, more . . . hopefully, we'll be able to do even more in the future, but that's for another blog post.

So, it's kinda sad that we lost so many years, but . . . we've both developed independently and still maintain the same belief system as the other.  We have automatically loved each others' children . . . instantly making them niece and nephews.

We're there for each other through our crappy marriages . . . mine that has started the last stages, just waiting for finalizing, and hers that is on a bumpy road.  We travel together and enjoy the time we have together.  God help you if you try to come between us.  We've learned the importance of keeping those we love close to our hearts.

So, in the midst of the chaos and complaints, there is a light that is #Sistercasm.

Until the next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic.

It Just Keeps Getting Better . . . NOT

Sis 1 here . . .


OMFG!  I just got a group email from . . . my new stepfather and my mother.  What did it say?  It said they got married today in a private ceremony.  After 24 years together they decided to tie the knot.  What it didn't say is that they couldn't do it before because he was too butt fuck lazy to get a divorce.  Yup--that's right, he was still married for so many years.  I'm not judging the being married, but separated and being with someone else.  Who hasn't done that?  LOL!  I'm pissed because he's a lazy ass mother fucker who is now going to benefit even more from my mother's pension and social security.  FUCK!

Oh and I'm also pissed because I found out about it in a MASS FUCKING EMAIL!   Are you kidding me?  You can't call your only child and say, "hey, we're gonna go do this now or hey, we went ahead and did it."  I knew they were planning to get married, but the delivery sucked.  Needless to say, congratulations are not yet forthcoming from me.  Grrrr . . . .

Later peeps . . . until then, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

Keep on Scrolling?

Sis 1 here . . .

Here's my dilemma.  Everyday on Facebook . . . and yes, I'm on there constantly . . . I have these posts that come up on my newsfeed such as, "like if you love Jesus, God, Buddha, Mohammad, scroll if you don't" or "share if you hate child abuse, spouse abuse, animal abuse, scroll if you don't" or "like to stop pedophiles, scroll if you don't care."  Seriously people, WTF?!  Of course I love my spiritual influence of choice, hate abuse of all types, and would string pedophiles up by their balls and slowly strip every inch of skin off of their bodies with a dull knife, coat them in vinegar and sugar, and let the insects at 'em, before turning them over to Bruno the Bigdick to fuck them in the ass.  This doesn't mean that I'm going to "like" it or "share" it on Facebook.  It doesn't mean that if I scroll past that I condone the bullshit.  In fact, I'd like to post something that says, "share if you hate all bullshit, scroll on by if you hate all bullshit too."  This would eliminate all the guilt of scrolling  by when you see the pictures meant to wrench your heart out.

What do you think?

Until the next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

WORTHLESS!!!!!

Sis 2 here --

What is so hard about checking in and telling the spouse at home - you know the one that has been a single fucking parent for the past 3 days while you were gone - when you might be home? Is it too much trouble to push one fucking button on a cell phone and let that spouse know that you and the boss are going to stop for ANOTHER night on the road and won't be home AGAIN (I heard it from a co-worker who heard it from the boss's wife)?

If I am going to operate as a single parent maybe I should be one!

Good Lord - why are men so fucking worthless?

Time to pour a glass of wine and stay SASSY AND SARCASTIC.

Mondays Suck!

Sis 1 here . . . on Mondays.

I FUCKING HATE MONDAYS!

You would think that a new week would be a positive thing, but no, people have to fuck it up every single week. 

This morning . . . I got my ass out of bed at 4:45 am and went for a walk.  This is after a broken night’s sleep.  Why you ask?  Because I woke up at some point to a nasty ass smell.  It turns out that Dickwad’s pillow cases stink.  Now, I haven’t taken my allergy medicine in two weeks and am totally stopped up, but the smell woke me up.  Can you imagine?  And no, I don’t do his laundry, so don’t ask. And yes, he still lives with me temporarily, so don’t ask.

Then, the Boy (my one and only adorable, loveable TEENAGE son) gives me attitude when I get him up for school.  I know that is normal, but it’s fucking Monday and it’s worse.

Next, I get to work, where, low and behold, I can’t get on the internet without using quota time.  Why?  Because they have upgraded the security on our servers and put Websense on most sites.  Note—I’ve worked here 22 years and never have gone on an inappropriate site.  But ok, they’ll take it off for me, so not that big a deal.  But, our external server, where I clients go to obtain their information from us . . . ISN’T FUCKING WORKING!  So, now, I have to send all these people information that they would normally get off the web, making more work for me and for them, since they had to call.

The phones are ringing off the hook and it’s challenging at best to get anything done.  And some of my co-workers have the nerve to tell me that there is no way they can get the work done by the deadline I’ve set, after I worked all fucking weekend.  I’ve done the majority of the work; all they have to do is some minor data entry set up that I don’t have access to do.  Believe me, if I did, I’d just do it myself so it would be done right the first time without the whining and complaining.

So, yeah . . . I FUCKING HATE MONDAYS!

Until next time, keep it #sassyandsarcastic . . . .

This Says It All

Keep it Sassy and Sarcastic ladies!

Manic Monday

Sis 2 here ...

So once again it is Monday! Was yours a Manic Monday or a Mild Monday? Mine started mild and then turned manic as Child 1 did not want to cooperate with leaving for school. Time for work - let's hope that is a mild Monday.

Hope your Monday is Sassy and Sarcastic!

Mad in the Midwest

Mad in the Midwest 

Sis 2 here -

As Sis 1 mentioned our first blog entry will focus on introducing ourselves and ranting a little (okay probably more like a lot) about the males in our lives ...  aka The Good, The Bad and The What The Fuck Was I Thinking. 

Sis 1 and I have known each other since we were little tykes and while that seems like a long time it really can't be that long because well, we are still young ... right? Sis 1 took off after college and headed west while I ended up stuck here in the Midwest. Stuck, trapped, suffocating ... 

Speaking of trapped, here I am - the person who thought I would be living some glamorous, cosmopolitan lifestyle with a doting husband - stuck in the backward-ass Midwest where half the year it is decent and half the year it is gloomy and cold as fuck while in a marriage that makes me want to stand outside of bridal shops and shout at the top of my lungs "DON'T FUCKING DO IT!  MARRIAGE WILL SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!" 

So to keep from suffocating, I stay ... SASSY AND SARCASTIC.   

You Can't Fix Stupid

Sis 1 here . . .

 

We are ready to rant about some stupid men stuff.  BTW—all men are stupid . . . even the ones that we love and lust after.  They can be sweet and kind, and oh so sexy, but they do and say stupid shit every single day.  Before you get all offended, go back and read the rules. 

 
I’m going through a divorce and, although it is a friendly one, there are issues that just irritate the shit out of me.  For instance, for 25 years, I’ve asked Dickwad to go to events with me, do things as a couple, just get the fuck out of the house and do SOMETHING.  It’s been a never ending battle, so I gave up and started going everywhere myself or with my girlfriends.  Needless to say, he would get offended when I did that, but tough shit.  If he did go places with me, he would get such a bitchy attitude, I’d have a miserable time. 

So now, that we are officially separated and filing for divorce, what does Dickwad do?  Yep, you know it.  He goes out almost every single, fucking night.  Are you kidding me?  And . . . he’s enjoying himself.  While I don’t want to harbor any animosity toward him, it’s kind of hard not to, considering everything. 

I just want to do something mean like put itching powder in his shorts.   I can see it now . . . he’s acting all cool and flirty and all of a sudden he has an uncontrollable dick itch.  Now that’s sexy . . . NOT.

What would you do to your Dickwad if you could get away with it?  We’d love to hear from you. 

 

Until next time . . .keep it Sassy and Sarcastic.

Sarcasm Sisters

So . . . welcome to our first blog.  We are two sisters who specialize in sarcasm, aka, we put up with no shit.  So first the rules:

1.  We say what we want.  If you don't like it, go away,
2.  This is a no holds barred blog.  If you don't like it, go away.
3.  This is for 18 and over.
4.  Nothing is sacred, so if you can't handle it, go away.
5.  Have fun.

Now that the rules are out of the way . . . our next blog will be about . . . stupid men!